Stahlke Adoption

A Father's Response

Thanks for the information. He’s not in trouble with us either over rocking,
although when I see him do it, I always ask him to stop or touch his shoulder gently or rub his head a little. It IS a sign of distress, and it is one way that we know when he has more than he can handle on his plate.

Peter came to us with a very strong case of rocking, mostly at night in order to get himself to fall asleep. We curtailed it for two reasons. 1. It seems so unusual(the rocking was extremely aggressive at the beginning) that we wanted to give him the best reception among friends and family. 2. It would wake up his brothers in the bedroom when he would start.

It also works to ask him what he’s thinking about or what is happening later in the day. I’m curious as to whether he was rocking during math. This last week he becomes infuriated and frustrated with himself if I ever tell him that one (or more) of the math problems on the homework have to be re-done or are incorrect. Math has been relatively easy for him lately, so he has an expectation that it is mindless activity and that he can toss it off quickly. For some reason, it really bothers him to be corrected in anything right now, so he has been sent away from the dinner table very regularly for not being able to handle a directive like, “Don’t pick up the food with your hands,” or “You need to keep your elbows in so that you don’t touch the people next to you.”

Please stay in touch about this. I think it’s good practice to ask him what’s on his mind, and (if you’re comfortable doing so) to tell him to “sit quietly, please.” But, let your classroom be whatever you are comfortable with. The behavior is only an indicator of deeper issues, of course.

Many, many thanks!

Jonathan Stahlke

posted by Stahlkes @ 10:04 AM