Stahlke Adoption

Heaven According to Kola

-playing all the time
-not ever sleeping

posted by Stahlkes @ 9:59 AM 0 comments

Peeling an Onion, Part VI

As Jonathan and I searched for a country, we attended adoption seminars and lectures, and did information interviews with agencies. It became clear fairly quickly that our request for a sibling group raised red flags with the agency representatives. They didn't have confidence that we could handle such an adoption, and "adoption disruptions" (i.e., failures) look very bad on their records.

To turn the conversations more in our favor, we asked one agency representative for a list of qualities she would require for the adoption of a sibling group. We then systematically worked through the list item by item to make ourselves more acceptable as parents of a large number of children.

experience working with children
Jonathan began teaching Sunday School, and I increased my work with young soloists. We also told the agencies about our relationships with nieces and nephews.

knowledge of child development
We read lots of books, especially ones by Brazelton.

extended family members living nearby
Since none of our family members lived in Illinois, let alone Chicago, we described our church families, both at Concordia and our home congregation.

sufficient financial resources, including DCFS-required bedroom space
The income threshold for adopting is not very high, and the square feet of bedroom space in our house that are required for each child allowed us to adopt up to six children.

strong marriage, with good communication skills
Jonathan and I view ourselves as a team, and we make sure to talk with each other at breakfast, snack, supper, and before bedtime.

language ability (the least important requirement, according to the agencies
Before adopting in 2005, we attended weekly tutoring sessions in Ukrainian for six months. Being in the country itself improved our skills greatly, and then having the children in our house provided lots of practice, albeit only in "kid" vocabulary!

posted by Stahlkes @ 10:10 AM 0 comments

Another Why?

Our children love to hide somewhere and then jump out to scare us. Why do kids take such delight in this?

posted by Stahlkes @ 10:56 AM 0 comments

Contagion

A week of Halloween candy at snack time:

Monday:
"Sarah, if you don't sit at the table normally, you can't eat your snack."

Tuesday:
"Sarah, if you don't sit at the table normally, you can't eat your snack."

Wednesday:
"Sarah, if you don't sit at the table normally, you can't eat your snack."

Thursday:
"Sarah, you're not sitting at the table normally, so you can't eat your snack."

[ranting and stomping, just like Kola]

I predict that Sarah will sit very normally tomorrow!

posted by Stahlkes @ 6:38 PM 0 comments

Lutheran or Anglican?

Our family does devotions after supper each night, with Jonathan reading a Bible passage and saying a prayer, and all of us singing the first stanza of a hymm. Jonathan and I usually choose a hymn that will be used in a future worship service. That means that for several weeks we sang "Lord, Keep Us Steadfast" for Reformation Sunday (Oct. 25) and "For All the Saints" for All Saints' Day (Nov. 1). By the end of October, the children knew the words of these two hymn stanzas quite well.
________________

As with other parenting challenges, Jonathan and I experiment with different approaches to see what will work. After two weeks of tantrums, I decided a few days ago to cradle a screaming Kola and sing "For All the Saints" to him. It definitely settled him down, and he quickly started singing with me. The next day found me holding him again, trying "Lord, Keep Us Steadfast" to calm his yells.

The text of "Lord, Keep Us Steadfast," written by Martin Luther, starts:

Lord, keep us steadfast in Your Word;
Curb those who by deceit or sword
Would wrest the kingdom from Your Son
And bring to naught all he has done.

The tune (ERHALT UNS, HERR) is based on a 12th-century chant, and the reformer himself may have revised the melody to its current form. The tune is both modal and rhythmically regular (like the chant on which it is based), thus giving it a strong, severe sound that matches the text well.

In contrast, "For All the Saints" begins:

For all the saints who from their labors rest,
Who Thee by faith before the world confessed,
Thy name, O Jesus, be forever blest.
Alleluia! alleluia!

SINE NOMINE is the tune composed for this text by Ralph Vaughn Williams, the leading figure in English church music during the first half of the 20th century. His compositions reflect his extensive study of English folksongs, and SINE NOMINE is eminently tonal and marches triumphantly with a running bass line in the organ pedal part.
__________

So who won? Luther or Vaughn Williams?

Poor Luther! Kola just held his hands over his ears and screamed louder!

posted by Stahlkes @ 5:51 PM 0 comments

Halloween

A karate devil, Superman, an M&M, and our neighbor, a piratess.

posted by Stahlkes @ 10:17 AM 0 comments

Never Ends

Many parents have told us that children watch the current state of family dynamics and wait until it's safe before acting out. So . . . now that's Kola doing much better since Halloween is past, another child has taken his place with the yelling, anger, and throwing. At least it's only one kid at a time.

posted by Stahlkes @ 4:45 PM 0 comments