Singing with the Lutherans
It's a busy time, as I prepare to travel this weekend to visit my parents, sister, and her family in Virginia. In the past, several people have sent me "Singing with the Lutherans" by Garrison Keillor. I'll give you some quick snippets since there's no time this week for actual posting.
____________________________
I have made fun of Lutherans for years--who wouldn't, if you lived in Minnesota? But I have also sung with Lutherans, and that is one of the main joys of life, along with hot baths and fresh sweet corn . . . .
I once sang the bass line of "Children of the Heavenly Father" in a room with about three thousand Lutherans in it; and when we finished, we all had tears in our eyes, partly from the promise that God will not forsake us, partly from the proximity of all those lovely voices. By our joining in harmony, we somehow promise that we will not forsake each other.
International Kennel Club
On Saturday, I attended a dog show, my first since 1975 when I won a ribbon with my Sheltie in Houston. That experience was all about obedience exercises. This time, I wanted to explore the world of conformation, in which dogs are judged by their closeness to a breed standard.
The announcer blared that a tour would start at 11:00 am, and I was the only taker. For 30 minutes, an AKC (American Kennel Club) expert explained the ins and outs of conformation. But before leaving later that day, I discovered my secret reason for attending: to find dogs that looked like Chessie, White Blossom, Kelpie, Alabama, and Dakota. I miss them, and seeing animals with their looks and mannerisms intrigued me. Dachsunds, Shelties, Basenjis, and Norwegian Elkhounds filled the bill for most of my dogs. Only White Blossom was too broad in origin to have a look-alike. The AKC, however, has started a program allowing mixed-breed dogs to enter their various obedience competitions. Yes!
While I didn't take photos on Saturday, some web surfing today produced the following (top) photo of a Basenji. While the (bottom) photo of Alabama was taken in her old age, the similarity in looks is still striking. And I can assure you that for most of her life she possessed in spades the
joie de vivre evident in the top photo.
Reminds Me of Dakota
A friend and colleague forwarded a message to me, which I have copied below. That picture reminded me so much of Dakota. I took him in when he also found a comfortable place to rest--by digging a cool spot among my nasturtiums in Waco. He looked at me with such beautiful eyes that I was entranced rather than angry.
Dakota:
___________________________________________________________
A nativity scene was erected in a church yard. During the night the folks came across this scene. An abandoned dog was looking for a comfortable, protected place to sleep. He chose baby Jesus as his comfort. No one had the heart to send him away so he was there all night.
We should all have the good sense of this dog and curl up in Jesus' lap from time to time.
No one mentioned that the dog breed is a shepherd.
Changing Clothes
In our church youth group, Paul is known for his bluster. In fact, several people call him "Mr. Crabby Pants," even to his face.
Last Wednesday, Paul arrived at church for the weekly youth dinner. Flashing a wry smile, he told pastor that he'd have to go home to change pants. He'd forgotten to wear the proper attire.
Class Assignment
In preparation for Presidents' Day, Peter's teacher asked her students to describe their favorite hero. Peter told me he wrote about his oldest brother: "My hero is Paul, because he took care of me in Ukraine."
Disconnect
We've read that many international adoptive parents are pretty focused people. It's necessary to get through all the paperwork and procedures that are necessary. Yet, many adopted kids (up to 50%) have ADHD and other issues that affect their attention. Jonathan attended four parent/teacher conferences yesterday, and every teacher mentioned that the ability of our kids is higher than their motivation. Yes, Jonathan and I are frustrated.
Clarity
When the kids first came, I often drove multiple children to appointments. Initially, Paul or Adam would automatically take the front passenger seat, and they had the size and strength to deter the other children from the place of honor. To set the record straight, the front seat was not favorable because of me--the radio took that honor.
The feminist in me resented the girls' exclusion from the front seat. (David was too young to legally sit there.) For a while, I rotated the children trip by trip, but that plan proved impossibly complicated because the car trips never included all the kids.
For several years now, we work on a strict system of seniority. Car seating, bath order, choosing chores, "Pick 3" (see post on 7/16/07), and many other tasks automatically go in age order. Practicality trumps fairness, and Mom and Dad keep their sanity.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Last night, Peter created home-made Valentine cards for his 3rd-grade class. He pleaded with us for candy to tape onto them, so Jonathan gave him a box of suckers that had arrived a month ago as a gift for his (Jonathan's) birthday party.
As Peter finished his cards, I joined him to count them, since the teacher had strongly urged that each child in the class receive a card. Imagine my consternation when I saw the label on each and every piece of candy:
"50 Sucks"
Post-Party
Paul's birthday party at the trampoline center exceeded our expectations, which were already high. Everyone had a fantastic time. The highlight for me was sharing a positive experience with my children. So much of my life involves refereeing the constant skirmishes in our house, and dealing with misbehavior and backtalk. For a few hours on Friday, we all just had fun.
18!
Happy Birthday, Paul!
Besides adult-type gifts, such as his own alarm clock and checking account, we're treating a group of 15 to an evening at Xtreme Trampolines. Check out their website to see the wall-to-wall fun:
http://carolstream.xtremetrampolines.com/photos
My Response
Jesus' family celebrated holidays, just like we do today. Their big holiday was Passover, and each year they traveled to another city, Jerusalem, for the Passover. Do you travel for the holidays at Christmastime?
For the Passover holiday, Jesus' family ate special foods. Do you eat certain foods at Thanksgiving? Or Easter? And when Jesus' family cooked the meat, they saved some of the blood. When your mom or dad get ready to cook ground meat, do you sometimes see blood in the bottom of the container? That's what the people used in Jesus' day to paint their doors, like in the stained glass window. God had told them to do this, and they obeyed God.
Challenge
I conduct a chapel service each week for the nursery school at our church. Each we discuss one of the stained glass windows in the sanctuary. This week's window showed a door frame with blood on the lintel and posts. My assignment: explain the Passover celebration to a large group of four-year-olds. Last year, I mostly read from a children's edition of the Bible. Even a children's translation was too vivid for this age group.
How would you approach this topic with such a young group? I'll tell you my solution on my next post.
Birthdays
We belong to a support organization called FRUA--Families for Russian and Ukrainian Adoption. In the Fall 2010 issue of their publication _The Family Focus_ is an excellent article by Patty Cogen titled "Whe Adopted Teens 'Fall Apart' and How to Help Them." The bulk of the piece describes brain development in teenagers, especially how the frontal lobes in charge of executive functioning are the last part of the brain to mature.
The most interesting portion of the article for us discussed the significance of major birthdays. Before we read this article, we had already celebrated Paul, Adam, and Rachel's 16th birthdays with larger gifts than usual. And next week we are hosting a birthday party with friends (the first such event for any of our children) to mark Paul's 18th. It helps to emphasize the positive at these times.
I quote from Cogen's article:
A teen's separating from parents and becoming an individual is a developmental task that takes on special meaning for adopted teens. We all need to remember that every internationally adopted child was once required to become overly mature at an extremely young age. Three celebrations evoke powerful reactions in adoptees. The first is
coming of age at 16, when a young person is old enough to drive. The second is
turning 18, which marks the end of required education, the start of the right to sign medical papers, and attainment of the rights of citizenship, including voting and military service. The final celebration is the
21st birthday, when a person becomes a full adult and can legally drink and buy tobacco in every state of the U.S.A.
Rx for parents:
1) Respect your teen's fears as an indication of your success in building attachment.
2) Don't push your youngster to learn to drive or to visit the doctor alone.
3) Reassure your child that he is still and always will be a person you help and protect.
4) Reassure your child she can live at home beyond age 18 or 21.
Last Dance Photo
PS Rachel and Sarah added the commentary on the photo, and I haven't figured out how to get a version with it removed. Could someone advise me how to do this?
