The New Hangout
With the advent of computers, the youth section of the neighborhood library has become a hopping place. When I bring our younger kids, the room pulses with young voices and excited faces. A side room, renovated into the "Teen Room," sports DVD selections for older kids and a large screen for gaming contests.
In my day, no one except we bookworms pressed for library visits. Now my kids visit every day.
Counting Explained
The first year after the five kids came, Jonathan clipped 120 finger- and toenails each weekend (for everyone except me).
He mentioned recently that it's a big change to do only 40 now.
Counting
120 nails in a weekend
Pain at the Pump
Jonathan filled our van the other day, and $100 didn't finish the job.
It Pays to Ask
A man was praying to God. "God?" he asked.
"Go right ahead," God answered.
"What is a million years to you?" the man asked.
"A million years to me is only a second," replied God.
"Hmm," the man wondered.
Then he asked, "What is a million dollars to you?"
God said, "A million dollars to me is a penny."
The man then asked, "May I have a penny?"
"Sure," God replied, "in just a second."
--
Lutheran Witness, March 2012, p. 26
Reversal
Spring begins with snow in Oregon and mid-80s (!) in Chicago. These temps are equivalent to our average high in early July.
Don't Faint--Two Posts in One Day
I couldn't resist when I opened Sarah's photo in my email. Chicago is having the warmest string of March days since weather records began. Blooms are blossoming everywhere, including on our pink magnolia tree. Spring has arrived!
Singing with the Lutherans, Part 16
You know you're a Lutheran when it takes 15 minutes to say, "Good-bye."
Boy, do I remember this one! As a child, our family was usually among the last to leave church. My parents would talk and talk and talk with other people, while we kids played in the yard. I know now that many of these church members with whom my parents conversed are their life-long friends, still close to them even decades later.
Singing with the Lutherans, Part 15
You know you're a Lutheran when you hear something really funny in the sermon and smile as loudly as you can.
Singing with the Lutherans, Part 14
Donuts are a line item in the church budget, just like coffee.
Singing with the Lutherans, Part 13
You know you're a Lutheran when it's 100 degress, with 90% humidity, and you still have coffee after the service.
Singing with the Lutherans, Part 12
Lutherans are willing to pay up to one dollar for a meal at church.
Singing with the Lutherans, Part 11
Lutherans drink coffee as if it were the Third Sacrament.
Singing with the Lutherans, Part 10
Keillor uses his article to reflect on other aspects of Lutheranism besides worship and singing. They are funny enough to include here, as well.Lutherans believe in miracles and even expect miracles, especially during their stewardship visitation programs or when passing the plate.
Singing with the Lutherans, Part 9
Lutherans think the Bible forbids them from crossing the aisle while passing the peace.
Singing with the Lutherans, Part 8
The following Keillor observation has come up at our church's staff meetings:Lutherans believe their pastors will visit them in the hospital, even if they don't notify them that they are there.
Singing with the Lutherans, Part 7
When you watch a _Star Wars_ movie and they say "May the Force be with you," you respond, "and also with you."
Singing with the Lutherans, Part 6
Lutherans still serve Jell-O in the proper liturgical color of the season and think that peas in a tuna noodle casserole add a little too much color.
Singing with the Lutherans, Part 5
Lutherans like to sing, except when confronted with a new hymn or a hymn with more four stanzas.
[Our son Paul is truly Lutheran: "Mom, why do you choose such long hymns for the end of the service?"]
Singing with the Lutherans, Part 4
If you ask an audience in New York City, a relatively Lutheranless place, to sing along on the chorus of ‘Michael Row the Boat Ashore’, they will look daggers at you as if you had asked them to strip to their underwear. But if you do this among Lutherans they’ll smile and row that boat ashore and up on the beach! And down the road!
Singing with the Lutherans, Part 3
Lutherans are bred from childhood to sing in four-part harmony. It's a talent that comes from sitting on the lap of someone singing alto or tenor or bass and hearing the harmonic intervals by putting your little head against that person's rib cage. It's natural for Lutherans to sing in harmony. We're too modest to be soloists, too worldly to sing in unison. When you're singing in the key of C and you slide into the A7th and D7th chords, all two hundred of you, it's an emotionally-fulfilling moment.
Singing with the Lutherans, Part 2
We make fun of Lutherans for their blandness, their excessive calm, their fear of giving offense, their lack of speed, and also for their secret fondness for macaroni and cheese. But nobody sings like they do.
