Mother's Day
I spent many years waiting for the Mother's Day when our kids would be home. And I'm still waiting, for Mikola. I'm not alone, however--many people wait, or choose to mother children in other ways. About 10% of all couples face infertility--that's a lot of people. Many men and women feel they cannot discuss this issue with anyone, but when you face it yourself it's amazing how many people open up and talk about it with someone who shares the problem.Many women who are otherwise regular church goers choose not to attend church on Mother's Day because it is too painful. Over the years, I've asked various pastors to acknowledge both the joy and the pain of Mother's Day in the prayers of the worship service. RESOLVE, the international support group for people facing infertility, offers a guide for clergy which explains the issue and offers suggestions for prayers on Mother's Day and Father's Day. The Illinois chapters of RESOLVE purposely offer their yearly conference on the weekend of Mother's Day.
The website for RESOLVE is:
resolve.org
The address for the clergy letter is:
resolve.org/site/Pageserver?pagename=cop_mis_cwh_ltc
posted by Stahlkes @ 6:15 AM
2 Comments:
I read your article in the Lutheran Witness this morning and I wanted to thank you for sharing your story. Your family is a beautiful witness to the grace of our awesome God. I will pray for Kola and your family while you wait to be reunited.
Happy Mother's Day.
I (also) read your article in the Lutheran Witness. What a witness of love, faith, and hope! What a blessing you are to these children, and what a blessing they are to you!
I thank you for your post about Mother's Day. My husband and I struggled with infertility for 3 years...the three first years of his seminary training. During his vicerage I wanted to stay home that Sunday. I didn't want to go and listen to a sermon about the virtues of motherhood when I felt God was withholding this blessing from me. I can also remember a sermon about Elizabeth and Zachariah. How their being barren and how it was a very important part of their lives. The pastor went on and on about how important it was for people in Bible times to have children and how painful it must have been for them. I was in the choir and sitting in the middle of the second row (no escape!). I cried my way through the service, there was no way I could get up and walk out. It was so painful. The second service, the pastor just mentioned their infertility, and moved on. I don't know how he came up with a totally differnet sermon while leading Bible study, but I thank him for not putting me through it again.
Now, my husband is a pastor, and he is careful to make Mother's day as painless as possible for those struggling with infertility. He does thank God for the gift of mothers, but he also prays for those who want to be mothers, and those who have lost their mothers. He is very sensitive about it.
I also think that God led us through this very difficult time so we can minister to others. I am very open about our difficulties and blessings of infertility and later parenthood. Because I do not hide the fact that we struggled, I have had many woment approach me and share their struggles and pain. I really think God used this pain in my life so I can relate to women in the same situation.
Again, thank you for sharing your story. I pray God continues to bless you and your family...especially in your wait for Kola.
Blessings-
Andie
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