Stahlke Adoption

Postscript: Learning to Cuddle

In Kola's orphanage, we often played with him in the "sport room." Besides the usual balls and sports equipment, the room also came with four or five children's umbrellas. A day didn't go by that Kola didn't pull them all out and dance around the room.

He also used the umbrellas to make a retreat for himself. First he would empty the ball container by throwing them one at a time across the room. Since fifty balls occupied this basket, this activity alone took at least ten minutes. (Never mind the time later to put them all back, but that's another story.)

Then he turned the ball container upside down and climbed in. By carefully arranging the umbrellas above him, he had built a secluded retreat. In an orphanage, such a spot is not easy to find.




On my departure day for the U.S., Kola's difficult behavior gave a clue to his reluctance to let me go. After all, he had waited four years for a mother, and he didn't want her to go anywhere! But during our last visit, he also showed his happiness by inviting Jonathan and me to join him in his retreat. As you can see from the photo, we are a little too big to fit inside the basket. But all three of us lay with our backs flat on the floor and stuck our heads under the edges of the umbrellas. Kola made sure to crawl between Jonathan and me. We all lay there for a long time, chatting and enjoying some family time together.

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A few days ago, as Kola was trying to fall asleep, he covered his face with his blanket. (It's interesting to me that he always does this, because his brother David does the identical thing as he falls asleep.) But Kola suddenly lifted the blanket, turned to me, and asked if I wanted to come under with him. "Da, Kola," I said, and he carefully arranged the blanket over both our faces. I felt privileged to be invited into his world, and we enjoyed some family time together.

posted by Stahlkes @ 12:52 PM