Stahlke Adoption

My Dad

Mom tells me that the days on which his children were born were among the happiest in my Dad's life. In my case, he was a doctoral student at the University of Wisconsin, working hard to complete his dissertation and travel to job interviews around the country. My mother had finished her teaching position to take maternity leave, and they waited for me, their first-born child.

Shortly after Christmas break, I arrived in the world at 5:00 am on a cold, snowy Sunday in Madison. In those days, fathers waited outside the room until the baby was born. But after seeing my mother and me, Dad was giddily happy, and took off to buy cigars and attend church, passing out the mementos to every buddy he could find.

My Dad and I are still very close, and Mom told me another story today that brought tears to my eyes. Because Dad has Lewy Body Dementia, the parts of his brain that the Lewy bodies have attacked no longer function correctly. When a speech or memory portion of his brain becomes affected, he has trouble bringing certain words to mind. When he's occasionally clear in his thinking, this makes him very frustrated. But for years, Dad has been finding ways to get around his mental deficits.

This morning, I telephoned my mother, and the aide told Dad that "Mary is on the phone." He told the aide, "I love Mary" but he couldn't get out the word to describe how much.

So he put his hands in the air, and held them very far apart.

posted by Stahlkes @ 10:39 AM