Stahlke Adoption

Peeling an Onion, Part IV

Having decided on international adoption, we conducted a lot of research to find the specific country from which we would adopt. Luckily for us, only five countries had appreciable numbers of siblings groups available: Colombia, Philippines, Poland, Russia, and Ukraine. These five options quickly divided into groups based on two factors.

Jonathan's fluency in Spanish (from his years as a missionary kid) gave Colombia both positive and negative aspects for us. While he would be able to speak easily with the children, my language ability would be much less adept. He didn't want there to be such a difference between us, especially since my limited ability in Spanish might affect bonding with me as compared to him.

The Philippines did not have this issue, as the language is either English or Tagalog, and Jonathan and I would be on an even footing. But then the next factor came into play. In Colombia and the Philippines, the children available for adoption would look very different from us. So, we had to decide between a conspicuous or inconspicuous adoption (the terms we saw in the literature). We did a lot of reading and then talked with our counselors and other adoptive parents. It became clear that the reaction of the public to a conspicuous adoption would be something with which we would have to deal. While positive reaction would be possible, so would negative reaction. Actually, any reaction at all is another emotional thing to handle.

After much, much discussion, we decided that, for us, the challenge of adopting a large sibling group would be great enough that we wanted to minimize the impact of other issues. We therefore decided to adopt from eastern Europe, which is where our ancestors once lived (Sweden, Germany, and Russia). Besides choosing an inconspicuous adoption, we also decided to ask for healthy children. But that's another story for another post.

posted by Stahlkes @ 11:05 AM