Stahlke Adoption

Peeling an Onion, Part VI

As Jonathan and I searched for a country, we attended adoption seminars and lectures, and did information interviews with agencies. It became clear fairly quickly that our request for a sibling group raised red flags with the agency representatives. They didn't have confidence that we could handle such an adoption, and "adoption disruptions" (i.e., failures) look very bad on their records.

To turn the conversations more in our favor, we asked one agency representative for a list of qualities she would require for the adoption of a sibling group. We then systematically worked through the list item by item to make ourselves more acceptable as parents of a large number of children.

experience working with children
Jonathan began teaching Sunday School, and I increased my work with young soloists. We also told the agencies about our relationships with nieces and nephews.

knowledge of child development
We read lots of books, especially ones by Brazelton.

extended family members living nearby
Since none of our family members lived in Illinois, let alone Chicago, we described our church families, both at Concordia and our home congregation.

sufficient financial resources, including DCFS-required bedroom space
The income threshold for adopting is not very high, and the square feet of bedroom space in our house that are required for each child allowed us to adopt up to six children.

strong marriage, with good communication skills
Jonathan and I view ourselves as a team, and we make sure to talk with each other at breakfast, snack, supper, and before bedtime.

language ability (the least important requirement, according to the agencies
Before adopting in 2005, we attended weekly tutoring sessions in Ukrainian for six months. Being in the country itself improved our skills greatly, and then having the children in our house provided lots of practice, albeit only in "kid" vocabulary!

posted by Stahlkes @ 10:10 AM