Stahlke Adoption

Mrs. M

Jonathan plays the disciplinary role with the children more than I do. But when he's gone from the house, it does fall to me. I don't usually think through the psychology of it as much as he does. In my mind, they should do what they're told and not have to be cajoled into it. But I'm learning from watching him that an indirect method is often better . . .

On our recent trip to Colorado, we spent one of the nights at my cousin's home. She asked that the girls and I sleep in one bedroom, and Jonathan and the boys in another. The bedroom for the "girls" had a double bed, a low couch with a futon, and an eggshell foam mattress on the floor. Luda and Lena knew that I would sleep on the bed, but they negotiated with each other for the other two spots. They agreed that Luda would take the futon and Lena would get the eggshell foam.

Later that evening, Lena took her bath first and therefore got to the bedroom before Luda. Lena stretched her sleeping bag out on the futon and quickly started to fall asleep. When Luda arrived later and saw Lena in the favored bed, she protested. I could see a battle brewing. I didn't want to move Lena because she was almost asleep, but Luda complained bitterly that she had been wronged.

So . . . I offered Luda my spot on the double bed and told her I'd sleep on the floor. That took her by surprise. She looked at me in disbelief but then promptly hopped in the double bed. I could tell by her face that this was looking pretty good. But when I came back a little later to say goodnight, guilt was setting in. I assured her that it was ok for her to have the double bed, and that I didn't mind sleeping on the floor. Now her face had a very confused look. This situation wasn't turning out as she had hoped.

When I came to bed an hour later, both girls were fast asleep, with Luda stretched out on the floor. I smiled triumphantly to myself, got in the double bed, and slept very well.

posted by Stahlkes @ 9:42 AM