Stahlke Adoption

Another (Long) Journal Entry

[Mary's editorial comments are in brackets. Please note the date--over a week ago. This entry is lengthy, but it gives a good idea of a typical day for Jonathan in Kirovohrad.]
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JOURNAL Day 10 (Friday, 3 October 2008)

AM: Last morning with no water [due to scheduled maintenance on the water main]. Things are getting a little dire. I actually dipped into a little of the bottled drinking water reserve in order to wash. No dishes this morning. They'll all wait until there's water, at this point.

I write Rachel's letter, have breakfast, and wash up.

I brought Kola a banana this morning, and since I didn't keep as careful track these days, I'm having trouble distinguishing between the visits. Morning went fine, but Kola was still pretty distracted, playing with other groups of (younger) kids, and interacting more and more with all of the adults on the grounds. They are curious about his future, and he's processing everything. I detect a hint of sadness in many of their congratulations, some of them giving him a big hug, like it might be their last. One more caretaker photo this morning.

Sasha took me [in his taxi] to Barvinok [the orphanage for school age children] to deliver the pump that we were able to buy [so the kids can add air to the soccer balls we gave them]. I thought I better get that done before Masha blows into town. This visit was quick and painless. Saw the director and left. All very friendly.

There IS water downtown, so I went to the "new" restaurant, where I could get some quiet, sit long, and write the last two letters to Sarah and David. They make me cry to write them; especially the part about Sarah asking for Kola over and over for three years.

Around 2:00 pm, I go photocopy all of [the letters] at the photo store, mail at the post office, do a quick internet check for information about phoning home tonight, and make a first attempt to withdraw money off my credit card. There was too long a wait for this, but I don't think the process will be bad on Monday, if I'm here during business hours on Monday.

PM: I finally got some more tears out of Kola. After general distraction, but before the juicebox and chocolate, I took him to a more secluded part of the grounds, near the [empty] "pool" where we often spend time together, over on the right side of the building. I rehearsed next Tuesday's events [his leave-taking from the orphanage], and my being gone on Monday to do document work out in the country ("na misto"), and he had a constant list of requests to do any number of things besides staying on my lap and listening. I held him pretty tight, and he was struggling, and he eventually cried. Not a lot, but definitely a cry. My Mom had said a few days ago that he probably needs to cry, and that shouldn't be ignored. Well, we accomplished it.

I asked him if he was sad. "Yes." Scared? "Yes." Do you understand what I said? "Yes." I almost asked him to repeat what I had said, but it was already a lot. We tied a ball to some new string I had bought, did some other fun activities, and he asked me to sing while I pushed him on the swing. Only, the Russian word for "sing" does not resemble the Ukrainian, so I had to play 20 questions to figure out what he was wanting. Yes, "spivaty"!

In the evening, I went home right away to check the status of the water. On the way, we went by "Yenot" (Raccoon), which is the clothes washing place, and it was open, but not accepting more clothes until tomorrow. I can imagine they are swamped at this point. Back at home, the water was on. (Hallelujah!) I ate supper while the water was heating, bathed, and organized myself for a big call home to talk to Mary about a long list of significant things.

At 7:15, I walked into town, and called Masha on the way for the "update on the plan."

At 8:15, I get through to Mary and we talk for an hour (only $12 US, if I call from Telekom!). This [our telephone call] was my second hot bath for the day - relaxing, reassuring, and stabilizing.

At 9:15, I walk home, get yogurt at a gas station (they don't carry milk), and get home by about 10. Watch a Russian sit-com, in which I think I only understood two words. The overacting, however, made the story perfectly clear. Read some of "The Red Badge [of Courage]" and off to bed. I'm starting to position myself for the farewell party and the gift-wrapping [of items for the orphanage staff] that has to happen. Was thinking about this as I fell asleep.

Earlier, probably a few days ago, I forgot to report about an interesting interaction between Kola and one of the orphanage worker women. I don't remember seeing her before, but they were obviously on good terms. She was sweeping outdoors behind the building, and asking him something about his brothers and sisters. He was ignoring her question and talking about other things. I prompted him to tell her how many siblings he had. He explained it all to her, and ended by saying, "I'm the sixth!" She exclaimed, and we moved on. So, all of the counting to 6 while swinging, and reciting the names of the siblings, and making six windows out of construction paper (with a different child in each window) is evidently sinking in.

posted by Stahlkes @ 8:48 PM