Stahlke Adoption

Anticipating Change

The excerpt below is taken from Jonathan's journal entry for October 1. It anticipates the changes that Kola is facing now. Very overwhelming for a five-year-old child! The words in brackets are my editorial additions.
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AM: Visit [at the orphanage] interesting. From the first, K. was very distracted, worse than ever, I think. He said good morning without looking at me (unfortunately common), but even afterwards, didn't respond to my questions. We wandered the grounds, and he was racing from thing to thing without allowing a comment or question to ever receive a response.

So, I cradled him on my lap on some steps behind the building (luckily, no big groups [of children] parading by during this time), and started asking him if he was afraid of something or sad about something. He very strenuously resisted talking about this. He asked for us to walk, for me to let him go (sound familiar?), for another drink of water, and on and on. I held him pretty tightly, kissing him on the face and looking at him all the time, and said that next Tuesday, when he would come to the flat [apartment] with me, there would be a bed there, bathroom, kitchen, food, and his things. We would go out walking every day, watch some television, eat, sleep, and play. I asked, "Is it scary for you?" He was still for the first time, and nodded his head slowly, without speaking. Then I said, "It'll be OK." ("Tse bude normalny.") Then I asked if he was ready to walk some more. He was much more settled after that. When I said we had about five minutes left, he got his hat on and headed back to the group (that had gone inside), and returned to them early, saying that I had said it was time. Interesting.

Just before this, we had an unusually long swing session. I began singing to him. (I've mostly been singing the two Thanksgiving hymns that we do at home.) I sang the alphabet song and the Doxology, as well. He pretty much lets me sing an entire piece before interrupting.

posted by Stahlkes @ 5:56 PM