Stahlke Adoption

Kola's First Phone Call

It's very expensive for Jonathan to telephone from Ukraine to the U.S. on his cell phone. The price is quite reasonable, however, if he calls from the telephone section of the post office, and these calls go through pretty reliably. Unfortunately, Mikola can't leave the orphanage grounds to join Jonathan for these phone calls.

It's been difficult to call Jonathan from here. We have two different international calling cards, but the connection seldom goes through. I don't know if it's the telephone system or his particular cell phone. Last week, over a three-day period, I dialed him about twenty-five times, and all my attempts were unsuccessful.

But if we're going to talk with Mikola (5) by telephone, the call must go from here to there. So Jonathan and I arranged for me to telephone this morning at 8:00 am, which is 4:00 pm there. Saturday is the only morning when the children are not attending school or preparing for church. I telephoned twice as I ate breakfast with Sarah (10) and David (9), but the calls didn't go through. Then it was time to leave for Ukrainian school, so I loaded the two of them into the car.

I attempted to call again from the car, without success. We drove awhile, and I pulled over to try again. This time, I didn't wait for the ringing, but just handed the phone to Sarah and started driving again. We were getting late for Ukrainian school, and the call wouldn't go through anyway . . .

"Papa!" Sarah exclaimed. "Is that you?" The connection was poor, but we were in business! Then came the first words ever with her youngest brother:

"Kola?" Silence.

I urged her, "Sarah, say Dobre dehn [Hello]!"

"Dobre dehn." More silence.

"Mama, I can't understand him!"

"Say 'Papa' and he'll come back on the phone to help you."

Jonathan got on the line, said something to her, and then she tried again.

In the meantime, as I'm driving down Interstate 290, the decibel level in the car increases. The road noise roars, the defroster blows, and the charger for the telephone makes a whirring sound (I'm not about to run out of battery for THIS call). In addition, David is talking loudly from the back seat:

"Mama, what am I going to say? What if I don't understand him?"

I told him, "David, first, talk softer so that Sarah can hear! Second, when you talk to him, say 'Dobre dehn' and "Yak spravi?" [How are you doing?]."

"Mama, I can't!"

Suddenly, Sarah handed him the phone. He took it, and didn't say a word!

"DAVID, SAY 'DOBRE DEHN'!"

David paused again, but finally said some words:
"Hello?? . . . How . . . are . . . you?" [in English!]

"David, say it in Ukrainian!

"Dobre . . . dehn . . . ."

Papa came on the line to help him. Then David and Kola talked briefly, with David mostly listening.

Next the telephone came to me, as I continued driving down the interstate. I started by saying, "Kola? . . . Dobre dehn!"

I heard a young but clear voice in the distance: "Dobre dehn!! Yak spravi?"

"Dobre [good]", I answered. Then he said some words that I didn't understand, except for the word 'Mama.' When I didn't respond, he repeated the same words over and over, louder and clearer each time.

Jonathan came on the line. "Mary, he's telling you that he misses you."

My Ukranian is poor, and I didn't know how to tell him that I also miss him. So, I used my broken Ukrainian to tell him something that I DID know how to say:

"Kola! Ja lublich tih . . . duzhe, duzhe dobre!!"
[Kola, I love you . . . very, very good!]

After that, Sarah talked and mostly listened for a few more minutes, and then Jonathan hung up the phone. I talked at length with the children, who displayed a mixture of emotions--excitement, wonder, dismay, uncertainty. They were very concerned that they couldn't understand what he was saying.

"Remember, Sarah and David, it's difficult to hear with an international call--and on the road, no less. And Kola is only five years old, so he doesn't know how to speak slowly and with easy words. We're going to Ukrainian school right now--why don't you ask your teacher to write down some phrases that you can use in your next call?"

Now, that's experiential learning! David finally saw a reason for attending Ukrainian school! When we arrived, I praised them: "David and Sarah, you talked to Kola for the very first time. And that might have been Kola's first phone call ever. I'm very proud of you!"

They smiled and walked into the building together. I drove a few blocks and pulled the car over to the curb.

Emotions of all kinds overwhelmed me. Kola's homecoming and reunion is beginning, and it suddenly feels very, very real. Imagine . . . David and Sarah spoke today with their youngest brother for the very first time! Four and a half years ago, when they last saw him, he was only a babe in arms.

And through my head rang the words of a little boy who could never remember a mother until a few weeks ago:


"Mama, I miss you. Mama, I miss you."


I cried and cried.

posted by Stahlkes @ 10:17 AM