Stahlke Adoption

Lullaby in Counterpoint

Kola exploded into a full-scale rage because I wouldn't fold a piece of paper for him. I carried him screaming to the bathtub and removed the shampoo bottles and soap so he wouldn't throw them. When he grabbed a towel, I took that away as well. Bereft of possible flying objects, he started spitting at me. I told him that it didn't hurt me--it's only water--and moved back to sit on the toilet where I could watch him.

One of my parenting strategies is to try new things to see what will work. Figuring that these angry outbursts might be related to developmental delays and possible attachment issues, I decided to treat him as a younger child by singing softly one of his favorite lullabies.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,
You make me happy, when skies are gray,
You'll never know, dear, how much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.

I must have sung that lullaby forty or fifty times, over and over. His response to the song shifted over the next twenty minutes. At first, for a long time, he covered his ears, rocking and screaming, "I hate you." His litany quickly matched the rhythm of my singing. Then he sang the song with me, changing some key words:

You aren't my sunshine, I hate you Mom,
You make me mad, when skies are gray,
You'll always know, Mom, how much I hate you.
Please take my sunshine away.

I slowed down my tempo to confuse him, and we ended up with quite an interesting canon/round. He then rocked some more, changing back to the rhythmic "I hate you." That subsided, and he only rocked. After a long time, he joined my song again, in perfect rhythm:

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,
"Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry."

You make me happy, when skies are gray,
"Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry."

You'll never know, dear, how much I love you.
"Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry."

Please don't take my sunshine away.
"Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry."

posted by Stahlkes @ 10:28 AM