Stahlke Adoption

Lighter Side of the Vigil

Caring for a dying loved one holds contrasting emotions: sadness, poignancy, hope, and even humor. I'd like to tell you some of the lighter moments from the last few days.

Based on advice from the hospice staff, we're telling Dad it's ok to "let go." We praised him for providing for the family all these years, promised that now we'll take care of Mom for him, and that the family will stick together for each other. He told me today that he wants to let go, but it's just not happening and he doesn't know how. Next time I entered the room, he announced, "I need a 'let go' teacher!"

A few days ago, during a particularly difficult stretch, Dad asked us what heaven will be like. Knowing that my father designed many of our homes, and worked with my brother's family in a home construction business, I decided to use John 14:2: "Dad, there's a mansion in heaven with many rooms, and one of those rooms is prepared just for you." Dad's response? "Mary's just reading something from the Bible! Prove it to me!" I reminded him that no one has ever come back from heaven to tell us what it's like, so we rely on the Bible for what we know about it.

Because Dad is bedridden with occasional dementia, he forgets that he has to urinate into a Depends. Sometimes, he tells me he needs to use the bathroom, and I leave the bedroom to give him his "privacy." My brother Mark telephoned for Dad tonight, and he talked to me while waiting for the aide to change Dad. When Dad was all cleaned up, I told Mark he'd been changed and then gave Dad the phone:
Mark: "Dad, I hear you're peeing in bed! I'm jealous."
Dad: "Yeah, you're right. But it's not such a good thing."
Mark: "When I wake up in the morning, I'm so tired I wish I could just pee in bed. Instead, I have to walk all the way to the bathroom to pee!"

posted by Stahlkes @ 8:17 PM