Stahlke Adoption

Postscript to Kola's Birthday

I've been asked how the children handled Kola's birthday celebration two days ago. Overall, it was a very calm day. That tells me that they've made progress since last year in dealing with his absence. I'm sure it helps that our trip to adopt him is coming into view.

One of the neighbor children on our street asked Luda about coming to Thursday's party. Luda told her that it wasn't really a birthday party, since we weren't playing games and since her little brother wasn't here yet. Instead, we were just having our regular snack time after school, but with birthday cake rather than another kind of dessert. It was clear to her that we were marking the day, but that it wasn't the same as another child's birthday.
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Someone also asked me how Kola's birthday might have been celebrated in Ukraine last Thursday. I don't know the practice in his orphanage (which is for very young children), but we know how birthdays are handled in the orphanage where our five children stayed. Because the orphanage is home to several hundred children, it is difficult for the caretakers to mark every birthday on the exact day--they would be planning something for almost every day of the year. So instead they have one party at the end of the month, and that's when there's a celebration for all children with birthdays that month.

Misha had his sixth birthday just two days after we met him. We bought him a stuffed animal and took it to a stationary shop to have it wrapped with lots of bright-colored paper and ribbons. He was thrilled to receive the gift, especially when he learned later that he would miss the end-of-month party because of the adoption and trip to the U.S.

posted by Stahlkes @ 9:24 AM