Stahlke Adoption

An Aside

My last post mentioned "adrenaline junkies" as a description of our children. To elaborate on this idea, here's an excerpt from Deborah Gray's Attaching in Adoption (pp. 130-31):

Some children use frantic over-activity as a way to express their terror, or to try to block out information. Often siblings have used frantic over-activity as a way to endure overwhelming events like domestic violence, physical abuse, and physical fights in drug houses.

James was grinning and poking at his brother. Timmy, ten months older, resisted briefly--he really did want to please Dad at this picnic. He took a sidelong look at James' tight body. Timmy's body became a mirror of James' . . . and they were off. Their pulses were high; their bodies revved up. They had evolved their own way of dealing with too much danger and tension. They became so wound up in their play that they could block out the people around them. Even though this "Welcome to Kindergarten" family potluck contained no dangerous people, the boys stayed wired for danger. James felt scared and out-of-control. He could not control or scan this many people. Besides, that one guy had a full beard and a ponytail like . . . James could not stand the sudden memory that began to emerge. With a heart rate of 150 beats per minute and a plastered smile, he poked Timmy into their old "block out domestic violence" routine. The kindergarten teacher made a note to talk to the parents about screening for attention deficit disorder with hyperactivity. After an early exit, the parents went home to make a plan for the upcoming year that did not continue the pattern of frantic over-activity as a means of coping.

posted by Stahlkes @ 1:18 PM