Stahlke Adoption

Chicago Traffic (ugh!)

I try not to vent too much on this blog, but it's been very full week. That's why I haven't written in a while. So, if you don't want to hear my complaints, just skip this entry!

Besides my normal workload at church and home, our tax info went to the accountant on Monday, the proposed music budget for '08 was due Tuesday at church, confirmation music classes started on Wednesday, and a loyal member of the choir and bells was buried on Thursday. So on Friday, I took a deep breath and thought, "Things will be a little easier today." Was I ever wrong!

The younger three children had a holiday from school, and Jonathan had to work all day. So I had planned for weeks to visit the Museum of Science and Industry in south Chicago. We have a membership there that expires on September 30, and yesterday was our last chance to go. Our visit was great fun--the kids were well-behaved, and we all got to see our favorite exhibits one more time. At 2:00 pm we left the museum on what should have been a 45-minute drive home. Traffic was bad, and at 3:30 (double the normal time!) we finally pulled up at home. Bogdan was waiting for us, having arrived on his bike from school.

It was a quick turn-around--feed the dogs, make some coffee, and give the kids a snack--and we got back in the car at 4:00 to attend Ruslan's cross-country meet. We were leaving late, but within time to make his race, which was the fourth of the meet. The location was La Bagh Woods, part of the Forest Preserve network that is such a wonderful part of Chicago. Jonathan and I had both agreed that La Bagh Woods was the site where our former church, St. John's, holds their picnic every June. It's in far north Chicago, with no good route on freeways. So I took back streets all the way there, and managed to get lost once. The younger children were difficult, but I could hardly blame them after all the time riding in the car. Finally, at 5:15 we pulled into the Forest Preserve, which was strangely empty of people, and to my dismay the sign said "Linne Woods." Unfortunately, Jonathan and I had confused St. John's picnic location with their site for the Easter sunrise service.

I had no cell numbers for the cross-country coaches, so Bogdon and I pored over the Chicago map, looking for La Bagh Woods. We finally found it, and headed south on the crowded freeway. About five minutes away from La Bagh Woods, my telephone rang. "Mom," Ruslan said, "I just won the race!" He had been first in a field of approximately 100 seventh- and eighth-grade runners, and had run despite the pain of a slightly-injured knee. I was simultaneously very happy and disappointed at the same time. He had achieved something quite extraordinary, but we had missed seeing it.

He told me that his coach could take him back to school. Five minutes later, we passed the freeway exit for La Bagh Woods and just drove past it to start the long drive home. We never even stopped the car. The children were cranky until I started crying, not because of their behavior, but at frustration and disappointment from the afternoon. We arrived at the school at 6:00, after almost four straight hours in Chicago stop-and-go traffic. We dropped off Bogdan for a Scout event (that's another story), and headed to a fast-food restaurant for some supper. That was Jonathan's gift to me, to help out the bad afternoon. We had time to eat, since the cross-country group was finishing the meet and then returning. So the three younger children and I ate, and then headed home.

That was another miscalculation on my part--the cross-country team had returned more quickly than I thought. Ruslan had already returned to school and ridden home on his bike. When we arrived, he was sitting alone in the house, watching TV. No one had been there to greet him. A mother's nightmare!

I went in quickly, congratulating him on winning the race. He was very excited and could hardly believe that he had won. I tried to give him a hug, but he wouldn't let me. I tried to pat him on the back, but he pulled away. In my heart, I know that he's thirteen, when it's hard for a boy to receive physical affection. He's also been through very hard times, much of which he blames on women. In addition, he was reared in Ukraine, which is more patriarchal than the U.S. I know all that. But I wanted very badly to acknowledge his achievement.

So I bowed before him.

He understood the gesture, and bowed back.

posted by Stahlkes @ 9:30 AM