Five Years, Four Schools
Ruslan, our thirteen-year-old, has been so settled this week as we begin a new school year. It's no wonder--look at the history of his schooling:
03/04 Ukraine--village school near their birth home
04/05 Ukraine--public city school near the orphanage (in the state capitol)
05/06 Chicago--public elementary school near our home
06/07 Chicago--parochial school near our home
07/08 Chicago--same parochial school near our home
This fall is the first time in five years that he has returned to a school. The other years have been filled with new teachers, unknown children, different buildings, altered routines, etc., etc. And all of this for the child of ours that has the most trouble with change!
His feelings of stability play out in small but important ways. For two years, he has resisted me when I try to say goodnight. At bedtime, I've been able to kiss him on the head fewer than ten times in two years. This week alone, he has twice pretended to be asleep and allowed me to kiss him goodnight. That makes me feel good, especially for him.
The End of Summer
You may have wondered why I haven't written much in the last while. We traveled to Austin, Texas to visit family, which was a successful and wonderful trip. Upon returning to Chicago, the last two weeks have been the only time in the year that is relatively unstructured for the children--no school, no summer school, and no traveling (which has its own inherent order). I established a structure (regular visits to the library and the pool, as well as set hours of free time and chores). The two weeks have gone quite well, although it has been a period of intense child care, with time for only a few other things.
Now school starts gradually this week--Jonathan at Concordia today, the two older boys on Tuesday with a half-day and Wednesday with a full day, and the three younger ones with one hour on Wednesday, and a full day on Thursday. I'm already planning my own private celebration on Thursday!
I hope to start writing more before long, but just wanted to explain the reasons for my silence.
Philippians 4:6-7
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Yesterday was a difficult day, and as I got ready for bed, I turned to the introductory commentary on Philippians. The overview presented the characteristics of the letter, including four ways for a Christian to live. One of the ways is "lack of anxiety," which led me to the beautiful passage above. I needed it yesterday.
Kola's bed is ready. His clothes are folded and stacked in his own dresser. He is registered for kindergarten, and we have ordered his box of school supplies. The children have bought gifts for him, and they ask about him all the time. Jonathan and I have our own clothes ready for his court date in Ukraine. The dossier is complete and translated. Over three-fourths of the funds to pay for his adoption are sitting in an account at our church, thanks to the generosity of many, many people.
Two days ago, we read an Email that Darlene forwarded from Masha. Jonathan then telephoned Masha yesterday, which was our first direct contact with her since 2005 (we have been communicating through Darlene until now). She told us that Kola's paperwork has been forwarded to Kyiv and that he would soon be registered with the national adoption center. Jonathan asked her if that meant we would be traveling soon. She told us instead that Kola's registration meant that he was entering the 12-month waiting period for Ukrainian citizens to adopt him. As foreigners, we are not eligible to adopt him until August 2008.
There are many more details that she told us, which I will not write about now. Knowing the whole story, we are very thankful that she is our liasion and facilitator in Ukraine. Based on what she told us, we need to be glad that Kola's paperwork is in Kyiv.
I cried when I heard the news of a year-long delay, and I haven't even met Kola or seen his photo. And then we had to tell the children, who do know him and cared for him until he was a one-year-old. The children's reactions varied a great deal, and Jonathan and I will be watching them closely in the next days.
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My dreams at night are very vivid, and my counselor loves to hear about them since they show how I'm working out problems in my life. Last night I dreamed that a trombone soloist was playing the prelude at our church, which I was accompanying on my most familiar instrument, the piano. The trombonist and I had not been able to rehearse before the service, and he was standing on the other side of the church, out of sight. I had not been able to tell him he should stand close to the piano. In addition, he was someone who I knew well, but had not seen for a long time.
My music was spread out on the piano, but as we approached the end of the piece, I could no longer see the notes. I'm not sure why, but either the pages were out of order, or my glasses had stopped working. I was forced to listen carefully to the trombonist and improvise the chords as we went. It was very vivid--I can tell you the key of the piece and the chords I was playing. The trombone's music ebbed and flowed, from soft and haunting to a full climax of sound. It was incredibly beautiful, and the congregation went into the hushed silence that only happens once or twice a year in a church. I knew most of the chords, but occasionally when I tried one, it didn't work, and I'd have to try something else, all right in front of the congregation. Despite my mistakes, the music was gorgeous, I was thrilled with the beauty of it, and the piece was coming to a slow end . . .
The alarm clark suddenly rang, and I didn't get to hear the end of the piece.
That beautiful sound of the trombone is Kola, and we are getting closer to the end of our time to meet him. I'm working in the dark, improvising without music, and unable to see him, yet his sound is still close and very, very beautiful. "Do not be anxious," but "rejoice in the Lord always." Philippians 4:4a, 6a
More on Ukrainian Passports
The US embassy in Kyiv released another notice today concerning Ukrainian passports for adopted children. To read it, see
kiev.usembassy.gov/amcit_adoptions_notice_0803_eng.html
After an adoption is finalized in the Ukrainian state court, there is a ten-day required waiting period before the judge's decree is considered final. In those ten days, someone can file an appeal to the adoption. This rarely happens, but the waiting period is mandatory.
Now an announcement has been made that ten additional days are necessary to issue the child's Ukrainian passport, which is necessary before obtaining a US visa. Therefore, with the ten-day period for possible appeal, plus a ten-day period for the Ukrainian passport, a minimum of twenty days are necessary before the parents can apply for the child's US visa.
In 2005, we spent about six weeks in Ukraine before the adoption was finalized. (We estimate that for Kola that time might be three to four weeks). In 2005, the time between the adoption finalization and our travel to the US was five days. The announcement today, plus the other changes since 2005, quadruple that time. We will continue to watch the embassy website to see if further changes will be announced.
Homonyms
I'm reminded of the difficulty of the English language as I watch our kids learn it. A great strength of English is its assimilation of words from many other languages, but this assimilation makes the spelling of words very unpredictable. There are homophones in English that I never thought about as homophones. Below you'll find a list of words that our children have found confusing:
threw, through
meet, meat
to, two, too [a triple homonym!, much to their delight]
bear, bare [only a double homonym, but one with more than two meanings]
steel, steal ["What does steel have to do with baseball?"]
box, Bach's [yes, the word "Bach's" does come up when your parents are musicians]
