Bad Words
I've written in the past about my efforts to stamp out the words "shut up" in our household. Here's my post from November 12, 2008:Learning (Proper) English
The din in the car overwhelmed my senses.
"BE QUIET!"
The din did not change.
"Mama, shchto ce yeh 'Be Quiet'?"
I answered Mikola with a soft "Shh" and an index finger to my lips.
"Be Quiet, Be Quiet, Be Quiet" he chanted. Then he turned to David and told him to "be quiet."
I silently rejoiced.
This phrase has special resonance in our family. I've told the children that if an entire day goes by without my hearing the words "Shut Up," then everyone gets a stick of gum the next day.
In two weeks, I've given out gum only one time.
But a few days ago, I heard Paul say "Be quiet" for the first time.
Score one for Mom!
A few days ago, one of the kids had to tell me something that was obviously very important. The child explained that they had overheard an adult using the "s" word.
"And Mom, it was NOT 'shut-up'!"
Singing
Along with rocking, Peter often sings or chants as a self-soothing device. While he has permission to sing in the car when he's alone with me, I explained that singing at night wakes up his brothers, who all share the same bedroom.
"Mom, why would my singing bother them? Parents sing lullabies to babies to help them sleep, right?"
A Father's Response
Thanks for the information. He’s not in trouble with us either over rocking,
although when I see him do it, I always ask him to stop or touch his shoulder gently or rub his head a little. It IS a sign of distress, and it is one way that we know when he has more than he can handle on his plate.
Peter came to us with a very strong case of rocking, mostly at night in order to get himself to fall asleep. We curtailed it for two reasons. 1. It seems so unusual(the rocking was extremely aggressive at the beginning) that we wanted to give him the best reception among friends and family. 2. It would wake up his brothers in the bedroom when he would start.
It also works to ask him what he’s thinking about or what is happening later in the day. I’m curious as to whether he was rocking during math. This last week he becomes infuriated and frustrated with himself if I ever tell him that one (or more) of the math problems on the homework have to be re-done or are incorrect. Math has been relatively easy for him lately, so he has an expectation that it is mindless activity and that he can toss it off quickly. For some reason, it really bothers him to be corrected in anything right now, so he has been sent away from the dinner table very regularly for not being able to handle a directive like, “Don’t pick up the food with your hands,” or “You need to keep your elbows in so that you don’t touch the people next to you.”
Please stay in touch about this. I think it’s good practice to ask him what’s on his mind, and (if you’re comfortable doing so) to tell him to “sit quietly, please.” But, let your classroom be whatever you are comfortable with. The behavior is only an indicator of deeper issues, of course.
Many, many thanks!
Jonathan Stahlke
A Teacher's Concern
Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Stahlke.
I am writing because I have noticed Peter rocking back and forth a lot in class. This is NOT creating any disturbances or anything like that, so please do not think he is in trouble. I am only bringing it up because I wonder if it is in response to something that is bothering him emotionally. Again, there is not an issue with it in terms of disturbance or behavior, I just wanted to make sure he's OK. Thanks!
Technicolor
Our weather is getting older, and the first freeze is on its way. I pulled out one of my favorite jackets, constructed of multiple strips of colorful Guatemalan fabric.
Peter greeted me after school with a "Hi, Joseph!" At first I wondered if he was referring to Mary and Joseph part in the Christmas story, but at my quizzical look, he exclaimed, "Your coat!!"
What a Concept!
"Mom, I wish shadows had color!"
Promoting Peace
Eight tubes of toothpaste on sale at Walgreens.
Thank the Lord
Our tax accountant called yesterday with wonderful news. He thinks that in the next few months the IRS will waive the large penalty and give us a refund instead. Whew! Your prayers are much, much appreciated.
High School Fun
In the midst of a whirlwind weekend, a few wonderful scenes come to mind. Walther High School celebrated homecoming on Saturday, and Rachel and Paul participated as cheerleader and football player, respectively. Rachel's squad danced at half-time, and Paul served as the team's only kicker. One of his field goals sailed straight through the goal posts, over the score board and fence, and landed in the street next to the field. What a kick!
Columbus Day Sneak
In 2005, the kids had been here for about six weeks when we got a notice from the elementary school. There would be early release that Thursday, with parent/teacher conferences on Friday (therefore no classes), and a holiday on Monday for Columbus Day. We just groaned--an unexpected five-day weekend with no advance time to plan for extra child care. In addition, Concordia still held classes Monday, so Jonathan wasn't available to help.
Six years later, we at least expect this "fall break" for the kids. But whoever told the IRS to time our audit for Columbus Day weekend was just plain mean!
I AM EXHAUSTED.
Extreme
I heard last Friday at noon that the IRS needed all our adoption receipts (2005-2010) for an audit. Our tax accountant's deadline to receive these documents was this morning at 8:00 am. Besides the inevitable problems of a filing system disrupted by the kids' arrival in our lives, I also had to deal with receipts in Cyrillic and conversions with exchange rates from prior years.
After working most of the weekend, I finished gathering what I could still find by Monday morning at 2:00 am. Even with no traffic, it took an hour to drive the documents to St. Charles, Illinois, and leave them in the accountant's lock box near their outside office door. At 3:00 am, in a dark parking lot, I discovered that the lock box was designed for letters, not five large manila envelopes with wads of receipts and financial statements. By removing the larger black clips that were holding papers together, I could with difficulty stuff each envelope into the box. The last one wouldn't fit, but by reaching my fingers in and shifting the contents, the final envelope mostly entered the box.
I drove back to Forest Park, listening to my Swedish murder mystery on the CD player. At home by 4:00 am, I crawled into bed with my injured arm propped up on pillows and collapsed until the 8:00 alarm started ringing. It was now Columbus Day, and all the kids were off school. Jonathan, of course, had a day of classes to teach!
Serendipity
Yesterday, Jonathan enjoyed a little down time while he waited for one of the kids to finish therapy. His cell phone rang with a request from a different child's counselor. Jonathan chuckled and told the man that they might as well speak in person. After all, the two of them were sitting only 15 feet apart from each other, albeit with a few walls between them!
Suspense
Our kids sat at the dining table caricaturing various people they knew. The entire family was included in the roast, and as they worked their way toward my name, I cringed a little wondering what my "typical words" would be.
Imagine my relief when, at my turn, they all started humming.
Endurance Race
Most people look forward to Saturday.
