Jonathan's Journal
Due to Email and telephone problems, Jonathan had no contact with the U.S. for several days after I left last week. He told me that keeping a journal helped him, and he told me I could pass these entries on via the blog. He continues to see Kola at 10:00 am and 3:45 pm every day.
______________________________________________
DAY 1 (Wednesday, 24 September 2008)
Both sessions today in Sportsaal.
AM: K. is quiet and pensive, softly playing piano with me. Asks: "Did he give me permission to go in the airplane with you?" "Yes, we'll go together. We just need to wait two more weeks."
PM: still quiet. K. asks: "When will Mom come back?" "She's not coming back here. Next time we see her, we'll be at home, in America, in Chicago." Then, when I said goodbye: "Are you coming alone tomorrow?" "Yes, Mom is in Kiev. Do you know where Kiev is?" "Yes, it's where Yushchenko lives." "Yes!"
I buy alarmclock (with a battery, it's only 10 gr.!), and change the $100 bill I had left.
DAY 2 (Thursday, 25 September 2008)
Both sessions in Sportsaal.
Some spurts of energy, chasing and wrestling a little. K. still wonders if you're coming back with me.
AM: I say you're in the airplane right now, going to take care of his brothers and sisters.
PM: You're still in the airplane, but will get there tonight, and sleep in Chicago tonight. No comment, but taking it in.
I eat lunch at home, for a change, because I have leftover Ramen and sausage. (I cooked all of it up Wednesday night.) Also, I get a good start on instrument ranges quiz grading. I'm able to finish and package it in the evening, mailing it with postcards on Friday.
Still no internet available (not yesterday, either).
Masha's Son
When I left Kyiv last Thursday, Masha's son had been released from the hospital and is doing better. She seemed pretty tired, and I could hear him in the background, but he is home and out of danger. What a relief! I was very worried about him.
Welcome Home
I landed at O'Hare Airport yesterday around noon, and my sister Anne greeted me with a hug, a kiss, and huge bouquet of beautiful flowers! After grabbing some lunch at a restaurant, we drove to Grace to pick up Paul and Rachel. Rachel and I ran to each other--just like in the movies!-- and my fourteen-year-old Paul reached out to give me a very special embrace.
Then it was time for Garfield's dismissal, and we stood near the playground door where the children exit the building. I saw David's teacher before I could distinguish individual children, and I waved and waved at the rows of children, figuring David would see me even before I could spot him. Suddenly, he came into view, sporting a smile a mile wide and waving at me as fast as he could. "Mama, mama! . . . Mrs. Goldenberg, my mother is here!" He bounded up the steps, and we clung to each other for a long, long time. Anne told me later that she and several teachers had tears in their eyes.
As we were still hugging, I heard another "Mama!" and I reached for Sarah. I enjoyed another eternal hug and then a three-way embrace with both children. On the way home in the car, they insisted that I sit in the back seat between them. What a treat for all of us!
About two hours later, it was Adam's turn when I picked him up after volleyball practice. Like Paul, my normally reserved teenager didn't hesitate to embrace me, even at school! And Adam enjoyed a ride home with just the two of us in the car. That's pretty unusual in our family, and both of us savored the moments.
Philippians 4:4
Mikola is now our son! The judge said yes!
"Rejoice in the Lord always; again, I will say, Rejoice!"
Masha the Juggler (Late-Breaking News on 9/22!)
I haven't written much lately about the document side of Kola's adoption (the paperwork since we've been in Ukraine). Here's a rundown of Masha's work for us, sometimes done seemingly simultaneously, especially on Wednesday, September 10!
Monday, September 8
-Arranged for our pickup at the Kyiv airport and a car ride to our rented apartment
Tuesday, September 9
-Met us before our appointment with the SDA to prepare us for the meeting
-Translated for us at the SDA appointment
-Picked up the documents that ask the Kirovohrad authorities to allow us to see Kola
Wednesday, September 10
-Picked us up at 6:15 am with a pre-arranged taxi
-Drove to Kirovohrad, the capital of Kirovohrad Oblast (state), which is about four hours from Kyiv
-Went directly to the DCFS office for the oblast, submitted the SDA request for a letter of permission to the orphanage that allows us to visit Kola
-Drove directly to the orphanage, met Kola, and interviewed with the director and orphanage doctor about Kola's history
-Checked into our hotel and grabbed a quick bite to eat
-Visited the notary's office to sign our official intent to adopt Kola
-Delivered this document to the DCFS office to get their paperwork rolling
-Went back to the orphanage for our afternoon visit with Kola, carrying a letter to the director requesting certain documents from the orphanage for the DCFS office
Thursday, September 11
-Telephoned Masha in the morning with Kola's official name: Peter Mikola Stahlke
-Visited with Kola in the morning
-Traveled with Masha and the orphanage head of housekeeping to cash some traveler's checks and then buy towels and fabric for the orphanage
-Moved our luggage from the hotel to our apartment, where we will stay for the rest of our time in Kirovohrad
-Got a signed receipt from the orphanage for our gift of towels and fabric
-Masha picked up some documents from the orphanage to give to the DCFS office
-Visited Kola in the afternoon
-Ate our first home-prepared meal--German Abendbrot
Friday, September 12 through Sunday, September 14
-Masha returned to her home in eastern Ukraine (she has a baby, and the next stage of her work for us could be done by telephone)
-Visited Kola in the morning and afternoon (which continues every day for several weeks)
Monday, September 15
-A committee of social workers at the DCFS, who meet only on Mondays, looked at Kola's case and gave their approval for our adoption
-Our lawyer picked up the DCFS documents and sent them by bus to Kyiv
Wednesday, September 17
-The SDA accepts documents (at this stage of the adoption process) at 10:00 am on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Masha's representative in Kyiv turned in our documents at 10:00 am.
-Masha told us that our court date would probably be on Monday, September 22.
Thursday or Friday, September 18 or 19 (I can't remember all the details!)
-When Masha telephoned about our case, the SDA told her that they have a great deal of paperwork right now, and that our documents would be ready on Monday. Officially, they have five working days to process the documents, although they often finish them sooner. The SDA stressed that there weren't any particular problems with our case. This turn of events meant that court could not be on Monday.
Monday, September 22
-The SDA signed off on our documents around 11:00 am. Masha's representative put them on the bus for Kirovohrad, where our lawyer picked them up. She also scheduled our court time, which is Tuesday, September 23, at 4:00 pm.
-We telephoned our travel agent in Florida, who is an adoption specialist, and changed my flight from Tuesday afternoon to Thursday morning.
-Masha also told us that her baby is seriously ill and in the hospital. She cannot come to Kirovohrad, understandably, and is arranging through our lawyer for a translator to be with us during our court appointment.
Tuesday, September 23
-Masha will telephone us in the morning to arrange when our lawyer will meet us.
-We will go to the notary's office for me to sign papers to apply for Kola's Ukrainian passport (a step in the adoption that takes place about ten days from now).
-We will attend our court appointment at 4:00 pm. If all goes well, Kola will officially join our family at the end of this appointment.
-CELEBRATE!!
Wednesday, September 24
-I will say goodbye to Jonathan, and a taxi will take me on the four-hour drive to Kyiv.
-My only appointment is at the U.S. embassy, where I will sign over power of attorney to Jonathan. That way he can do all the U.S. paperwork without me (about two weeks from now).
-I will spend an evening alone in Kyiv and get to bed early at my apartment or hotel room.
Thursday, September 25
-Take a taxi to the airport very early, since the flight for Munich leaves at 6:45 am.
-Change flights in Munich and enjoy being able to read all the signs.
-Fly from Munich to Chicago, arriving at O'Hare around noon.
-Meet my sister Anne and sister-in-law Lois, who are caring for the children.
-See five of my six kids again after more than two week's absence!!
Reality? Or a Dream?
Situation #1It was the largest laundromat I had ever seen. Row upon row of washers stretched before me, and women jammed into each other trying to secure a machine. As I walked slowly through the room, it became clear that choosing a washer would be difficult. Besides the huge variety of washers available, suitable for every need, many of them were broken. I especially remember one washer, marked "Green," that appeared quite different than the others and had not been used for a long time. But at least the instructions were written in English!
Even though I had not yet chosen a washer, I stopped to sort our dirty clothes. This task was also difficult, since I had a variety of clothes to wash and there wasn't room to sort them into separate piles. A friend asked me to wash some of her clothes with mine, but I had to decline. There were just too many clothes to carry, and I couldn't take more items without the risk of ruining them. In addition, my friend told me about a serious argument between mutual friends of ours--it was an emotional story and seemed completely out-of-place in the context of a laundromat. I left her, and as I carried my tub of clothes through the laundromat, the cell phone in my pocket rang. I completely ignored it--my arms were full, and I just couldn't handle anything else.
____________________________________________________________________
Situation #2Jonathan and I entered the Orthodox church, and it was obvious that all the women except me were wearing head scarves. I hid myself just inside the door, and Jonathan found the candle kiosk to ask about scarves. The woman selling candles had just the thing to help me--a scarf to borrow for my time in the church.
After donning my scarf, Jonathan and I walked around the periphery of the building. It was easy to walk, since the church had no pews. We came to a painting of Jesus and saw a man kiss the representation of Jesus' feet. This worshiper was not the first person to do this, for a pane of glass was attached to the painting over the feet of Jesus.
There seemed to be a lull between two sections of the worship service, and we saw a priest walking with a censor. Like we had, he moved around the periphery of the church, censing various icons, paintings, candle stands, and worshipers. As the priest walked, the people around me lined up on either side of the center "aisle." (Even though there were no pews, the floor was marked with a red aisle about four feet wide.) All of the people (see ^ below) faced the priest, while I stood behind the second row of worshipers trying to look inconspicuous:
_______________________________________
outer wall
priest moving to the right
^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
----------------------------------------
center aisle with altar to the left
----------------------------------------
^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
me
outer wall
________________________________________
The priest reached the back of the church, and I assumed he would turn down the center aisle to return to the altar. Instead, he continued walking past the end of the center aisle, directly toward me. Suddenly, all the people turned together, as if on cue, and looked right at
me. I was no longer hidden behind rows of people; rather, I was now the center of everyone's attention. A diminutive older woman looked at me sharply and commanded me to do something, but I couldn't understand her words. Her meaning was clear, however--"get out of the way!" The only escape was to walk directly toward the priest and squeeze between him and the line of people. Phew! I stayed at the back of the church for the rest of the service!
Maliavati (Drawing)
In the rush to leave for Ukraine, Jonathan and I managed to pack a CD-ROM with tons of photos from home and from our first trip to Ukraine. After a few days in Kirovohrad, we brought the disk to the Internet cafe to choose photos for Kola's photo album. All adoption agencies recommend that you bring an album from home so the child can start getting acquainted with their new home and surroundings in the U.S.
We discovered to our dismay that we had brought the wrong disk! From the photos that we DID have, we made an album with photos of relatives, but without pictures of our home. So . . . yesterday, Jonathan drew a picture of our house for Kola. Each of the six children sport a different color, and they all have backpacks for school:
In response to Jonathan's picture, Kola sat down to draw. It was the first time we had seen him do this for more than ten seconds! This time, he sat for a long time, and made two attempts before drawing a picture to his satisfaction.
His purpose was to copy Papa's drawing and make it his own. First, he drew the sun in the upper right-hand corner. Papa had forgotten this very important aspect of ANY picture. Then Kola placed the grass along the bottom, with each blade drawn bottom to top, like it grows. He underlined the grass with brown to picture the soil, and the brown he chose is dark like the rich dirt in Ukraine. Next came the house, with its upstairs window (notice that the cross-piece is a different direction from Papa's). The door and then the steps were followed by the tree. He drew the tree trunk and then asked Papa to draw the leaves. Jonathan sketched some very small leaves close to the trunk. "Ni, Papa!" exclaimed Kola. "Valicky!" (BIG!) Jonathan complied. Kola also asked Jonathan to draw Dakota, since he told us dogs are difficult to draw.
Then Kola drew the children in order of age, mostly with unique colors for each. Each one carries a backpack, which is important because it connotes school. Paul has hair (don't ask me why), followed by Adam, Rachel, and Sarah from right to left on the left side of the house. Then Kola drew David in red to the far right. He was finished, but Papa asked, "De Kola?" So, he drew himself, with backpack, and in the same red as David. Then Papa asked him to sign his name, which looks like English except for the "L," which is a lambda in Cyrillic.
Mikola does not have the words, even in Ukrainian, to express his feelings about the coming monumental changes in his life. But art can tell us some of what he is feeling. A house of his own, brothers and sisters, going to school, a dog, a yard for playing, and a little brother almost his age, signified by the same color of red in his drawing. There is a lot going on in Mikola's thoughts right now!
Giving, continued
This morning, we delivered a "sumka" (bag) of baby clothes to Mikola's orphanage. Back in 2005, before we knew the ages of our children, many friends and acquaintances donated clothing to us. Since Mikola, our youngest child, is well past the age of wearing baby outfits, we brought this clothing to Ukraine. After we gave the bag to an orphanage administrator, she looked through all the items, recorded the number of each type, and gave estimated values to each category. We told her that a receipt wasn't necessary, but she told us that the orphanage requires such documentation. The administrator thanked us, and I want to pass along her gratitude to all of you who donated clothing to us.
Our five children also purchased gifts for Mikola, which they will present to him in the U.S. In addition, they sent one of their own possessions for him, which we gave a few days ago:
Paul--a piggy bank shaped like a soccer ball
Adam--a sports card of a famous football player
Rachel--a stuffed animal (purple dog)
Sarah--a book about dogs
David--a DVD of the movie _Snow Dogs_
We found the sports theme pretty understandable, but tried to figure out why three of the gifts related to dogs. When our five children arrived in the U.S., several of them were afraid of our two dogs. Whenever Alabama and Dakota would walk by, the kids would stand very still and press themselves against the wall. Paul often asked us why the dogs lived inside the house--wasn't it dirty to live with dogs? And when I didn't have time to sweep the floor, the dog hair in the house would confirm his suspicions! But then he visited enough American homes to learn that many U.S. dogs live indoors, and that Jonathan and I aren't so unusual after all. I think that the dog-themed gifts for Mikola are the way that Rachel, Sarah, and David are getting him acquainted with this aspect of American culture.
We did manage to photograph Mikola with each of his siblings' gifts. (I tried to turn the pictures right-side up, but most of the instructions on my computer are in Ukrainian, and therefore it was impossible to achieve that level of sophistication in my layout.) Here are the photos, in order from youngest to oldest.
Giving Back
Months ago, when it became clear we would travel to Ukraine this year, our children chose some of their toys as gifts for their friends in the "older children's" orphanage. This institution is located about four blocks from the baby orphanage, where Kola lives. Today, when I unpacked the bag with our children's donated toys, I found three small notebooks and over a dozen soft stuffed animals.
Our children also asked that we purchase soccer balls with their tithe from earnings and found money. We supplemented these funds and bought thirteen soccer balls in the open market. Two of them, made of leather, should last a long time, while the others, which are plastic, will allow more children to play. We also purchased toothbrushes, since our kids had described sharing them.
Since Masha is in Kyiv right now, a local English teacher (who is serving as translator for another adoptive family) offered to go with us to the "older children's" orphanage. We met with the director and showed her photos of our children. She asked how they were doing and was very happy to get a positive report. After giving her the toys, soccer balls, and toothbrushes, we asked to see the lockers in the anteroom for the older children. Three years ago, our monetary gift to the orphanage had allowed them to purchase new lockers which are bigger and more suitable for teenagers. Not only did the director allow us to photograph the lockers, but she also allowed us to tour the entire building. We saw more of the orphanage today than we saw three years ago. Now we have a photo of the lockers to show our children, as well as pictures of some of their living and sleeping quarters.
Last Thursday, in the initial flurry of Kola's adoption paperwork, the director of the baby orphanage told us that Thursday afternoon was a good time to give our gift. This orphanage has cared for Mikola for more than four years, and we wanted to show our appreciation. We traveled to a store with the orphanage's head of housekeeping, and told her the monetary amount of our gift. She purchased a large number of towels, as well as an enormous bolt of cloth, which the orphanage seamstress will make into sheets.
Masha commented about the towels, which are quite soft and very colorful:
"How wonderful for a small child, who arrives at the orphanage hungry and in dire need of a bath, to finally receive a meal and a soaking in warm, soapy water, and then wrap up snugly in a soft, beautiful towel."
Activities
We meet with Mikola twice a day--from 10:00--11:30 am and 3:45--5:00 pm. If the weather is nice, we spend our time outdoors on the orphanage grounds. He loves to explore, and I'm sure he takes us to places that are normally off-limits for the children. We watch carefully that he doesn't pick the cultivated flowers, although the abundance of prickly rose bushes keeps him away from most. Wildflowers, however, call to him, and he responds joyfully. When he picked a morning glory for me, I imagined David doing the very same thing in our carport.When we see other children outside, two or three caretakers walk slowly with them while the children march in pairs, holding hands. I always say "dobre dehn" to them, and they look surprised that I am able to speak. Then they say "dobre dehn" back to me with delightful smiles. The group of children is sometimes taken to playground equipment, and then they break ranks and play. All of the kids wear coats and hats, since the weather is starting to get chilly. One day when I played with Kola in shirt sleeves, a caretaker asked me with concern about my own sweater.It's been raining a lot, so on most days we meet with Mikola inside. On the first day of inclement weather, we were assigned to the music room. The photo of Mikola on the First Lady's website was taken there, right under the "sun" decoration on the wall. Mikola's fascination with balls, however, proved too much for the music room, and ever since, we've been sent to the sports room. Here there are tricycles, hoops, balls, and even some musical instruments for him to play with.
Mikola finds snacks to be an important part of each visit. The first afternoon with him began with a banana. From that first visit onward, we have always required that he sit ("ce di") while eating (yes, we have learned some things from our other five kids!). We pointed to the curb along the sidewalk, and he carefully brushed off a spot before starting to sit. Jonathan was already perched on the curb, and Mikola changed his mind and plopped onto Papa's lap. We found out later that the children are forbidden from sitting on the curb, which is often dusty. I'm impressed that he at least kept the letter of the law!
Mikola ate the banana with great care. After pulling down the peel, he carefully ate every string he could find. Then he tackled the body of the fruit, eating slowly with great calm. I'm convinced that the only time he sits still is while ingesting food! After finishing, he tried to put the peel in Jonathan's carrying case. We told him no, that it was too dirty ("brudni"). Mikola took the napkin that we had given him and wrapped the peel in it before placing the whole thing into Jonathan's bag.
We've tried several quiet activities, such as coloring or playing with clay. Only on the first day was it possible to do anything of that sort. Jonathan wrote his name with crayons--MIKOLA. Mikola looked at it, exclaimed "Papa!" and then wrote his name correctly, in Ukrainian--MИKOLA. Since that occasion, our attempts to persuade him to draw or write on paper have been pretty futile.
Cutting paper is another story, however. Paper chains are a big hit, especially ones with six rings--odin, dva, tri, chotyri, pyat, sheest--one, two, three, four, five, six--Ruslan, Bogdan, Luda, Lena, Misha, Kola--Paul, Adam, Rachel, Sarah, David,
Peter. "Mikola!" he countered. (I don't think that his English name is real to him yet. There will be plenty of time later for that.) Mikola showed the paper chains to his group over lunch and returned for his afternoon visit with the chains completely intact. They must be very precious.
Routine, revised in bold
8:00 am
Rise, eat breakfast in our apartment, pack toys and a snack for Kola, catch a taxi (usually with our favorite taxi driver Sasha--we have his cell phone number).
10:00
Meet Mikola for the morning visit. His orphanage is located on Glinka St., which is easy for us to remember since Glinka was a famous Russian composer.
11:30
Take another taxi to the "city center" to eat lunch at a restaurant. The downtown area is centered around Karl Marx St. and we often eat at the Cafe Camelia.
1:00 pm
Shop, shop, shop (mostly for little things like a city map, soap, a tape measure), go to the internet cafe, mail five postcards to our kids in the U.S.
3:45
Catch a taxi to the orphanage and meet Mikola for the afternoon visit
5:00
Get picked up by the previous taxi driver (pre-arranged at 3:45) and go back to the apartment, which is located on October Revolution St. (the loop boulevard around the city).
Evening
(Recover from walking up nine flights of stairs) Actually, the elevator has been repaired--we weren't able to read the signs that you have to catch it on the 3rd floor (probably to keep it from being overused). It's very nice to have a "lift."
Have Kaffeetrinken, as we have the last fifteen years.
Do work.
Eat supper (usually Abendbrot--bread, cheese, coldcuts), write postcards, wash clothes.
Get clothes and toys ready for the next day
More Photos
The Huckabees, who are adoptive parents from El Paso, received full custody of their children yesterday. They have been in Ukraine since mid-August, so it was a long-expected and momentous day for them. Tammy somehow managed to load photos on her blog site yesterday evening. They are pictures from last Sunday, when all of the American parents and their children played together in the sports room of the orphanage.
There are four photos of Mikola on Tammy's website--it's the Monday post (9/15/08) and Mikola is in pictures 4,5,7, and 8. He is wearing a white shirt with a yellow stripe. Small tricycles were very popular with the children that day, and all of them were quite active.
The address of the Huckabee blog is:
huckabeeadoption.blogspot.com
Our Fellow Adoptive Parents
On September 9, Tammy and Kevin wrote a comment on my blogsite in which she mentioned meeting us. Here's how we came to know them:
During visiting hours at the orphanage, four sets of adoptive parents meet with their children. Three of us are American couples, while a fourth is German but former residents of Kyiv, Ukraine. Kevin and Tammy Huckabee are from El Paso, Texas, and they came to Ukraine to adopt one child. The older boy they chose to meet has two younger siblings living in Mikola's orphanage, and the Huckabees are now going home with three children from Kirovohrad, as well as their three-year old daughter from the U.S. who accompanied them on the trip.
The Huckabee's website is:
huckabeeadoption.blogspot.com
If you peruse their site, the pictures of the younger children are taken on the grounds of Mikola's orphanage. Photos of their older son were mostly taken at the orphanage for school-age children, where our oldest five kids lived. The city scenes are from the same streets of Kirovohrad that we are walking each day. I haven't had time to read the Huckabee posts, but I'm looking forward to doing so.
The Story Behind the Photo
Many years ago, a young woman of Ukrainian descent grew up in Chicago, and her family members were active in the community of Ukrainian Village. She attended Georgetown University and the University of Chicago and then began a promising career in business. Her employers included the U.S. State Department, the Reagan White House, and the U.S. Treasury Department. When the chairman of the National Bank of Ukraine visited Chicago to establish better diplomatic and economic ties, she participated as a member of the U.S. delegation. Eventually she and the bank chairman fell in love, married, and raised a family of their own. In 1999, the bank chairman became prime minister of Ukraine, and in 2004, he ran for president of Ukraine, sparking the Orange Revolution.
Viktor Yuschenko is still president today, and Kateryna Yuschenko's primary focus as First Lady is to improve the lives of Ukrainian orphans. During the last four years, the adoption system in Ukraine has changed a great deal. The government is working to convert the orphanage system into a foster care system, and incentives have been established to promote foster care and adoption by Ukrainian citizens. There is strong interest in keeping the children in Ukraine.
The First Lady visited Mikola's orphanage on September 18, 2007. The children dressed in traditional costumes and presented a program of dancing and music. The First Lady took notice of Mikola:
president.gov.ua/gallery/841.html
Go to the bottom and click page number 4
Look at the fourth photo on the top row (html#10476)
Mikola bows in the foreground, as the First Lady watches him.
Kateryna Yuschenko asked the orphanage director for specific information about Mikola. The director explained that he had lived at the orphanage for most of his life. His brothers and sisters had been adopted by a Chicago couple in 2005, but Mikola's adoption had been delayed due to legal complications. In the meantime, several Ukrainian families had requested him as a foster child, hoping to eventually adopt him. Since the paperwork for the Chicago couple was taking so long, the director asked the First Lady her opinion: Should Mikola stay longer and wait for the Chicago family, or should he be adopted by a Ukrainian family?
The First Lady replied, "He should definitely be placed with his brothers and sisters in Chicago."
Peter Mikola Stahlke
president.gov.ua/gallery/841.html
Go to the bottom and click page number 4
Look at the third photo on the top row (html#10475)
See the child in the foreground:
God has blessed us all!
Our First Visit
At 11:40 am this morning, Jonathan and I followed Masha through the main door of Mikola's orphanage. After stopping at the front desk, we followed a staff member upstairs to the director's office to talk with her before meeting Kola.
As we rounded the corner close to her office, a small boy entered the hallway from another door. Holding tightly to his caretaker's hand, he stopped right in front of us, looked up and smiled, and greeted us in a firm, clear voice: "Dobre dehn!" [hello, or more exactly, good day]. I recognized him as the little boy we had seen in the SDA photo yesterday: Mikola!
Everyone in the hallway, and especially Mikola, just beamed as we walked into the director's office. Jonathan and I knelt down to talk with him, and he seemed relieved when Jonathan greeted him in Ukrainian. He replied in Ukrainian, "Hello! Are you going to take me?"
Jonathan assured him that we would take him, but that our departure together was over three weeks away. At that time, he would ride a "samalot" (airplane) with his new Papa. "Samalot, samalot, samalot!" he said over and over in delight.
Then he saw photos of his brothers and sisters. "Paul, Adam, David," came the brothers' names first, then "Rachel, Sarah." He pronounced the English names with Ukrainian vowels: Pahl, Ah-dahm', Dah-veed', Rah-chell', Sah-rah'. He was enthralled with all the photos of his siblings. In the family photo, he referred to Jonathan and me by pronouns, since he didn't know our names yet.
Jonathan gave him a small stuffed bear, especially chosen for the occasion (with "Chicago" embroidered on the front). Mikola asked if the bear was his own to keep. "Yes, " said Jonathan, and Kola beamed again.
The orphanage doctor started giving us her report of his medical history, and I reluctantly turned my attention to taking notes. We know from experience and from our adoption research that the first meeting is sometimes the only opportunity to learn about the child's past. So I shifted into business/research mode and took notes as fast as possible. Jonathan continued to engage Mikola, eventually playing catch with the newly-given bear. Jonathan told me later that Mikola also went to the director's desk and picked up the remote-control for the air conditioner. He turned it on, and asked Jonathan to hold up the small Ukrainian flag sitting on the director's desk. The cold air blew the flag and made it flutter, eliciting another cry of delight.
After all the business was finished, the director explained to me that Mikola is one of her favorite children, and she often lets him spend time in her office. She related stories about him with obvious affection, often laughing as she recounted acts of curiosity and inquisitiveness. As she spoke, he continued to play ball, walk around the room, and otherwise engage us. At one point, he tried to attract my attention, but I didn't notice because of my conversation with the doctor. He looked at Jonathan, who whispered to him how he could address me.
"Mama!"
I looked up, and he tossed the toy bear at me.
_______________________________
He called me "Mama" within the first 20 minutes! What
incredible joy!
Wonderful News
[This is Anne – Mary’s sister – sharing a joyful phone message from Mary today.]
Wonderful news! We had our appointment today at 2:00pm as planned. We went through two pages of paperwork and saw a large photo of Mikola. He has brown hair and brown eyes and was wearing a gray vest, white shirt and large black bowtie. He is very cute! The information said he has a “friendly personality”. Everything went very well and Masha said it was the easiest appointment she had ever had at the SDA. On Wednesday morning, we will leave at 6:15am to drive to the local town and if all goes as planned, we will visit the orphanage early afternoon and meet Mikola for the first time. We are so thankful and happy about how everything went today!
After Mondaz Breakfast
Iäm writing these blogs from a computer in the Duesseldorf airport. It takes credit cards, which is nice since we donät have spare Euros. (I brought along hrivna for Kziv, not Euros for Germanz.)
Itäs amaying to pull up the Trinitz web page and mz Email from a German airport. The Internet is great. I am having a little trouble, however, with the kezboard. It works better for German than English!
Monday Before Breakfast
The "German-ness" of the Duesseldorf airport is comfortingly familiar compared with the world of Cyrillic we are about to enter. In Germany, we understand much of what we hear, even if our speaking skills are rusty. Unfortunately, the foreign language part of our brain is getting a little confused:
Jonathan: Guten Tag! (Hello!)
Storekeeper: Guten Morgen! (Good morning!)
Jonathan: Darf man Marks einkaufen? (Can one buy Marks here?)
Storekeeper: Nein, Euros!
(Yes, when we lived in Halle, Germany still used Marks.)
Jonathan: Haben Sie Postkarten? (Do you have postcards?)
Storekeeper: Ansichtskarten? (The German term for postcards)
Jonathan: Tak! (Yes, in Ukrainian!)
__________________
I´m just thankful that he´s willing to do the talking!
Monday Dawn
As we flew over England, the sunrise glowed faintly in the east. Then darkness below us signaled our passage over water. In a break through the heavy clouds, a string of ships´ lights sparkled from the North Sea as we approached the coast of the Netherlands.
Sunday Afternoon
O´Hare Airport--Lufthansa counter
David gets a hearty laugh from the baggage handlers
by tying an address label to his wrist and asking them to check him to Kyiv as our luggage
Comic relief helps when goodbyes with the kids are so hard
Sunday Morning
Arise at 4:30 am
Sort papers, make coffee, sort papers, pack, sort papers, etc.
Jonathan´s brother Tim takes the children to Sunday school
Jonathan and I keep packing and packing
We arrive at church and sit together as a family
(I haven´t sat with the family at Trinity since our first Sunday three years ago)
Our good friend Karol Sue played the organ for me
I thought to myself at least twenty times--it´s good I didn´t play services today
The girls sat close to me throughout the service
It was wonderful to be at church right before leaving
A warm and loving send-off to our trip
(This is Anne, Mary’s sister – passing along a message from Mary)
Dear All,
We’re completing our last day of preparations today. Here is our upcoming schedule –
· We fly tomorrow, Sunday, at 4:00pm, through Germany and on to Kiev, arriving Monday.
· Our appointment is on Tuesday at 2:00pm.
· We pick up our permission letter to travel on Wednesday morning and then we’ll travel to
the local city.
· Then, we need to pick up a letter from the local authorities to allow us to visit
the orphanage – hopefully on Wednesday afternoon or Thursday morning. Then, we can
go to the orphanage and meet Mikola.
We’re very excited to begin this journey. Thank you everyone for your support!
(From Anne – please keep Mikola and the Stahlkes’ in your prayers and thoughts during these upcoming days.)
Child Care
I've been silent this week because we're getting ready for our trip. It's very, very busy, but I also smile a lot thinking about meeting Mikola next week. Wow, NEXT WEEK!
Here's a blog I wrote several days ago, figuring I could use it now when my schedule is full with trip preparations:
______________________
When we returned from Ukraine three years ago, our case worker advised us to run our home on a strict schedule--like an orphanage. Luckily, Jonathan and I require a fair amount of organization ourselves, so it also helps us to run a tight ship.
To assist the family members who will be taking child care shifts in the next weeks, I'm sending them information about what Jonathan and I do in a typical day. The schedule below does not include events like medical appointments, tutoring, confirmation, sports practices and games, music lessons and rehearsals, Ukrainian school, etc. But it does give the "skeletal" schedule around which all the extra activities revolve.
I hesitate to put all of this on the blog, since it's rather tedious. But several people have asked how we handle things at home with five kids. Here's part of the answer:
Schedule Basic School Day6:00 amRise, empty dehumidifier in basement, change the towels in the kitchen and bathroom, let Dakota out, give him a treat, change his water
6:10 amMake lunches, cook breakfast
7:00 amWake up the children, ask them to get dressed
7:15 amEat breakfast altogether
7:30 amBrush teeth
7:45 amLeave for school with all children
8:00 amDrop off Paul, Adam, and Rachel at Grace (8:00 is not a fixed time, school starts at 8:25)
8:10 amDrop off Sarah and David at Garfield (bell rings at 8:15 am)
NoonFeed Dakota (between 10:00 and 2:00) one-half of his food, let him out
2:45 pmPick up on Sarah and David on Garfield’s large playground, David is released only when you’ve checked in
3:00 pmPick up Paul, Adam, and Rachel near Grace’s playground (back of school)
3:15 pmPut backpacks and lunch boxes away, eat snack altogether
3:30 pmStart of free time
4:30 pmStart homework with Sarah and David
5:30 pmSupper (time varies as needed), feed Dakota remainder of food, give him meds, let him out
6:15 pmFamily devotions
6:30 pmHelp clear table (each child carries 3 things to kitchen, last child eating clears the rest)
6:35 pmChore (done together)
7:00 pmStart homework (if meal goes past 7:00 pm, we skip the chore)
8:00 pmDavid--Bath, brush and floss teeth, choose school clothes, lay them on red couch
8:30 pmSarah--Bath, brush and floss teeth, choose school clothes, lay them on red couch
9:00 pmSarah and David--Bedtime, Goodnight routine in bedroom (song, prayer, goodnight kiss)
9:00 pmRachel--Bath, brush and floss teeth, choose school clothes, lay them on red couch
9:15 pmAdam--Bath, brush and floss teeth, choose school clothes, lay them on red couch
9:30 pmPaul--Bath, brush and floss teeth, choose school clothes, lay them on red couch
10:00 pmPaul, Adam, and Rachel--Bedtime, Goodnight routine
in bedroom (goodnight kiss, if they let you!)
BedtimeLet Dakota out, give him a treat
____________________________
And I should add, fall in bed exhausted!
