Prayer
Entrust your days and burdens
To God’s most loving hand;
He cares for you while ruling
The sky, the sea, the land.
For He who guides the tempests
Along their thund’rous ways
Will find for you a pathway
And guide you all your days.
Take heart, have hope, my spirit,
And do not be dismayed;
God helps in ev’ry trial
And makes you unafraid.
Await His time with patience
Through darkest hours of night
Until the sun you hoped for
Delights your eager sight.
Rely on God your Savior
And find your life secure.
Make His work your foundation
That your work may endure.
No anxious thought, no worry,
No self-tormenting care
Can win your Father’s favor;
His heart is moved by prayer.
Lutheran Service Book, Hymn 754, sts. 1-3
From An Acquaintance
Words of wisdom--
"Every day is a gift."
Thanksgiving
I give thanks today for the people near and far who are helping us in countless ways to rear our children. You have shared with us in good times and given hope when our load is difficult. God bless you!
Followup
Well, Kola did not have his tantrum at mealtime yesterday. He waited until about five minutes after supper. He's no dummy!
See the comments on my last post for some feedback about low blood sugar causing tantrums.
I also received a private email message recommending a sticker chart for Kola. We haven't done those because it was too overwhelming keeping up charts for six kids. But now that only one child is the proper age for them, I'm going to try them. It also helps that Kola wants them, and he has already designed two, completely unprompted by me.
Natural Consequences
About 80% of Kola's rages occur at mealtimes. We're trying to figure out the reasons. Last night, he missed supper because he only calmed down (barely) when it was time to leave for his Ukrainian dance class.
We returned home several hours later, way past his bedtime. He was hungry, but Jonathan had stored all the food and cleaned the kitchen. We told Kola that his opportunity to eat had been at suppertime, but that he had chosen to kick and scream instead. Now it was time to get to bed as quickly as possible.
He was very hungry by breakfast time. I'm waiting to see if tonight's meal will be more peaceful.
Acculturation
As I walked the kids to the park yesterday, we passed an apartment building that sparked a vivid memory in me. For Kola's first Halloween, when he was only five years old, I took the younger four kids through our neighborhood to trick-or-treat.
While we mostly stopped at single-family houses, we also entered an apartment building on the next street in our neighborhood. The children ran ahead of me, as I closed the outer door. Just ahead of us was the front door of the first apartment. The whole scene, especially with an inside door off a stairwell, must have looked like the interior of a home to Kola. So rather than knock on the apartment door, Kola just turned the door knob and walked right in.
I thought the older woman inside would go into orbit. She started yelling at Kola very, very loudly. The poor boy had no idea that it's frightening to have someone just enter your home unannounced and without knocking. I apologized profusely, and we all rushed out of the building, with the woman still screaming behind us.
In the two Halloweens since then, we studiously avoid trick-or-treating at apartment buildings.
Cooking
Paul and Adam made Ukrainian dumplings for supper tonight. They cook them completely from scratch, with whatever ingredients are available in the kitchen. Tonight's dumplings were stuffing with potato.
It's fun to come home and see the 50-lb. sack of flour on the dining room table, next to lots of dough in various stages of formation. The aroma floating out from the kitchen makes my mouth water.
Positive Reinforcement?
I've been trying for some time to get David and Kola to bring home all the materials and books they need for their homework. They invariably forget something, or don't write the complete homework list in their assignment notebook. Often it's a lack of focus, but sometimes the omissions are because they don't want to do the work.
Trying to use positive reinforcement rather than strong-arm discipline, I tried offering the boys a piece of candy if everything was in order after school. On the first day of possible candy, Kola didn't achieve the goal and groused for 30 minutes about not getting his treat. The next day, he tried harder but still failed to earn the candy. That turned into a full rage for an hour. It was so bad that Jonathan and I decided the candy thing wasn't working.
The third day, I reminded him that we weren't doing candy anymore. Of course, that's the day that he had every single book he needed for homework! And without candy, he had another rage.
I keep praying for patience.
Learning About the Bible
In centuries past, church builders included stained glass windows to teach stories from the Bible to a mostly illiterate population. Today, a large segment of people in our society doesn't read, either--preschool children.
Our church sponsors an active nursery school program for children ages 2-4, and once a week they attend chapel in the sanctuary. Pastor leads chapel once a month, in order to keep in contact with the children, and I cover the remaining three weeks.
The theme of chapel each week is drawn from the stained glass windows in our sanctuary. I read a passage of Scripture that pertains to the "window of the day," and then the kids discuss what they see. It's amazing to me how much content the children pull out of the images. They often see more details than I recognize.
A blind person's sense of hearing is usually more acute than that of people who see. Likewise, a pre-reading child's power of observation is quite amazing.
Getting Better
Kola pulled himself back from a rage today. It was definitely starting, but then he started screaming "I don't want to have a tantrum, I don't want to have a tantrum . . ." The mantra continued for quite a while, but by then he had stepped back from the edge. Definite improvement.
Difficult Morning
Two rages before school even starts. At least they were from different kids. And during the problem a third one talking back and not listening. I'm glad the weekend is coming.
Repetitive Motion
Sarah loves to swing, and can do so for long stretches of time. Repetitive motion helps Kola to calm down or fall asleep. During tantrums, my singing of a rhythmic song slowly lessens his rage. When he is trying to fall asleep, and we ask him not to rock, his leg immediately starts kicking in a steady beat.
The other day, I realized that I had been tapping my foot for a very long time. Not all that different from swinging or rocking!
More Info
I haven't heard recent info about the Zielinski adoption, but here's an article written while they were preparing to go to Colombia:
http://www.timesbulletin.com/main.asp?SectionID=2&SubSectionID=4&ArticleID=162519
Another Sibling Group Adoption
One of Jonathan's former composition students and his wife are on their way to Colombia today to meet the sibling group of five girls that they will adopt. Keep them in your prayers. As I hear more news, I'll pass it along.
Chemistry
One of our older boys really likes his chemistry class, except for the labs.
"Mom, our experiment today was pretty boring. We put a candle under a glass with water, and when the oxygen gave out, the candle quit burning. That's so obvious! Why can't we do something more fun? Like blow things up!"
Prayer
Some time ago, we learned of an adoption by friends of the family, and told the kids over supper that night. Later that evening, as I put the children to bed, one of them prayed that the new child of our friends would "get used to his new parents."
Remorse
After Kola rages, he feels badly about his behavior. Lately, he's been writing me "sorry" cards. The one yesterday reads in cursive:youarevare nicetome.
I[heart]U
A Journal Entry
When a child no longer needs a spiral notebook for school, I rip out the pages that were written on, and save the notebook for another child. Before pitching the scribbled pages, I always check to see if there's something worth saving for their scrapbooks. Here's an entry from last year's science journal:
I have nothing to write about so i'm just going to sit here and think.
Russian/Ukrainian Adoptions in the Press
At a medical appointment recently, I saw the following article in an old issue of TIME. A lot of its content resonated with our situation:
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1997439,00.html
Peace and Freedom
I highly recommend the following story, which was told at our church on Reformation (October 31, 2010):
http://www.trinitylutheranvp.com/sermons.html
Halloween
We had a fun time with Halloween yesterday--I took the little boys, and Jonathan went trick-or-treating with the girls. Paul and Adam spent the afternoon and early evening with friends.
It was relatively calm compared to Halloween 2005, the first one for the older five children. Jonathan reminded me that we were slow to buy Halloween makeup for them that year, so they devised their own. The ink cartridge in a permanent marker, when removed from its casing, makes a great color when rolled on one's face. And there are so many colors from which to choose!
After that scene, I started hiding my markers.
