An Aside
The waves lapped softly as the boat plied its way north with an almost imperceptible motion. We had left the lights and hubbub of Hong Kong behind, and the moon shone brightly on the calm water. As we entered the Pearl River delta on our way to Guangzhou (Canton), I settled in for the overnight journey, waiting to arrive early the next morning. With a traveling distance of about 75 miles, we were definitely on the slow boat to China.
- October 1986
Court
We all stood in the court room yesterday before the judge's tribunal. He started to reiterate the facts of our case by asking the children, "When did you come from Ukraine?" The older five children said, "about five years ago," but Kola responded, "two years ago." [Even though it's been 1-1/2 years, I've told him he's in his 'second year' after arrival.]
The judge wondered why Kola had arrived at a different time, and he asked him, "Did you take the slow boat?" Not understanding the idiom, Kola exclaimed, "I took a PLANE!"
I was reminded of the first moments after we met Kola, which I excerpt here from my blog post of September 10, 2008:
Everyone in the hallway, and especially Mikola, just beamed as we walked into the director's office. Jonathan and I knelt down to talk with him, and he seemed relieved when Jonathan greeted him in Ukrainian. He replied in Ukrainian, "Hello! Are you going to take me?"
Jonathan assured him that we would take him, but that our departure together was over three weeks away. At that time, he would ride a "samalot" (airplane) with his new Papa. "Samalot, samalot, samalot!" he said over and over in delight.
Paperwork
We all went to court today, which was a very big event. I'll write about our visit later, when I have more time.
Before seeing the judge, our lawyer advised us of the procedures. Part of her talk included the benefits of readoption, and she mentioned an important reason that I forgot when I wrote my last post.
The children will receive U.S. birth certificates. Their birthplaces will still be named as Ukrainian villages, but the birth certificates will be issued in Illinois. In the future, when the children need a new or certified copy of their birth certificate, they can apply to Illinois rather than Ukraine.
Besides the obvious convenience of obtaining documents from within the state and not overseas, there are potentially situations in the future when it would be impossible to get documents from Ukraine. God forbid that the U.S. would be at war with Ukraine, but in that situation, documents would be unavailable.
I am definitely convinced that readoption is an important thing to do.
For more information about readoption, see the website of our attorney:
http://www.iladoptionattorney.com/readoption.html
Readoption
Our entire family is going to court tomorrow so a judge can begin readoption proceedings for the children. Many of you have asked the meaning of readoption. As I understand it, this procedure makes our adoption a U.S. one in addition to a foreign one. Since some states in the U.S. do not recognize foreign adoptions, readoption will guarantee the children's status if we move to one of those states. The most important time to have the adoption be a U.S. one is when Jonathan and I die, and our estate passes to the next generation. Without readoption, the courts in some states could challenge our will.
In addition, readoption provides the children with official birth certificates in English. That way their documents don't look so different from those of other kids, which appeals to them.
More Detective Work
Without our knowledge, the two older boys went out one evening to "bomb" cars with snow balls. They returned home and settled in for the evening when the doorbell rang. The man at the door complained to Jonathan that the boys had hit his windshield with snowballs, frightening his children and possibly damaging his car.
Our boys quickly agreed which one of them had actually thrown the snowballs, and we called that child to the door. After a tense conversation, the man left, promising to let us know if any damage to his car was visible the next morning in daylight. (Luckily, he didn't telephone us, so his automobile must have been ok.)
Jonathan explained to the family that the man had tracked down the boys by following their footsteps in the snow. He had been trained to do so, which we found out when he showed us his Forest Park police badge!
As Sarah would say . . .
BUSTED!
Detective Work
After school, one of our sons wanted to use the computers at the library. I dropped him off about one block north of the library and drove on. After picking up other children, we drove near the library and paused at the stop light. The crossing guard told me that she enjoyed seeing my son again as he walked to the library from the "L" station.
As I made my way home, it struck me that she had seen him walking from the south, not the north. I circled the block and confirmed with her that she had seen him walk from the south. She sought to allay my concern by telling me that lots of kids go to the "L" stop to buy candy and pop. My consternation deepened, however, because the Forest Park station is a terminus both for the "L" and the bus system, and there are always people hanging around.
As I finished my conversation with the crossing guard and closed the window, Sarah chimed in from the backseat, "BUSTED!"
From the Sublime to the Ridiculous
Late at night, Jonathan and I lay on the bed in our small apartment, trying to fall asleep. Our dogs Alabama and Dakota curl up with us on the double mattress, which we wish could be bigger. Suddenly, all four of us hear tiny, scampering feet in the kitchen, just two or three yards away through an open door.
The dogs sit up, look at each other as if to say, "Did you hear that? Are you going in there? No way!" They put their heads back down and ignore the sound.
It's up to Jonathan and me to investigate. The dog food bin in the kitchen has teeth marks on it, where the rat tried to get in. We find the hole in the wall where he entered the house, and luckily he left the same way he came.
We called the landlord the next morning, who put out poison. The rat died under the house, and we endured the stench for quite some time.
_______________________________
Today, fourteen years later . . .Jonathan and I pull ourselves out of bed, and he turns the light on in the bathroom. As I stand in the kitchen, I notice a quick flash of brown fur, and then a full glimpse of a large mouse diving under the stove. The bin with the teeth marks sits on our back porch, and I decide to put it back into service for the dog food. In addition, I locate more of our sonic mouse repellers to put in outlets around the house. Dakota wanders into the kitchen, sniffs at the floor near the stove, and then saunters away to undertake other pursuits.
Some things never change. I wish we could get a cat.
Christmas Eve, Part VIII
After our meal, the bishop circulated from table to table, greeting everyone in the room. Then the servers distributed songsheets for a carol sing. The songs were not familiar to us, but I hope to learn the one that was featured in the service as well as after the dinner.
One of the church women told the consul general of Chicago about our family, and brought him over to our table to meet us. Jonathan was easily able to make small talk, for he had just visited the consulate a few weeks ago to work on documents for the children's readoption. The consul general, who is new in his position, had renovated the waiting room and made it much more welcoming for visitors.
We drove home, and the children happily opened another round of Christmas presents. (Round one was on Dec. 25.) We ate more goodies, and got to bed around midnight. The next morning at 6:00 am, as we prepared for the school day, I wished we had followed the bishop's advice of a holiday from school on Christmas Day!
Christmas Eve, Part VII
After eating the first half of the meal, the serving attendants brought us steaming bowls of beet soup (
borscht), which is the signature dish of Ukraine. I've heard that a Ukrainian cook is judged by the quality and originality of their
borscht. It is usually cooked with meat, but due to the Advent fast, the Christmas Eve version is vegetarian.
The next portion of the meal included dumplings (
varenyky) stuffed with potato or sauerkraut, and cabbage rolls (
holubtsi). Our children adore
varenyky, and just last night, Paul offered to prepare them for the family. We didn't have any sauerkraut in the pantry, so he made it from scratch with raw red cabbage, vinegar, and salt. He and Adam then rolled and stuffed dumplings for several hours, and we'll enjoy them tonight.
The second half of Christmas Eve dinner also featured a small dish of ground walnuts, sweetened with honey and spiced with something we couldn't determine. When I search websites of Ukrainian recipes, they always mention the walnuts in
kutyia, but not this separate walnut dish. I'll try to ask in person some Saturday when we're at Ukrainian school.
When the last and twelfth dish was brought to our table, Rachel looked particularly pleased. The salad of marinated beets and red beans was one that her birth mother made at Christmastime. Rachel herself has made it for us.
To end the meal, the adults drank hot tea, and the kids received bags of candy. But the evening was not yet over . . .
Christmas Eve, Part VI
With the
kutya, our table was filled with the first round of dishes:
Uzvar, or "God's drink," is a delicious cold punch, served at room temperature. It is prepared with copious amounts of stewed fruit (prunes, pears, apricots, apples) that have been soaked in honey. Like the 12 dishes in the meal itself, the types of fruit can also be as many as twelve. Later in the meal, the children were offered soft drinks, and the adults drank hot tea.
Three kinds of bread were served: rye bread, bread rolls with apricot filling, and pampushky. The latter are deep-fried doughnuts with fruit filling.
Two dishes of fish graced our table, as well. One was a delicious baked fish in tomato sauce, while the other was salted, pickled herring (
oseledsi). I'm accustomed to pickled and creamed herring from my Swedish roots, but the Ukrainian version is much, much saltier. No wonder our kids love salt! They devoured the herring and asked for repeated servings. Jonathan commented that one small bite contains your salt allotment for the week.
Christmas Eve, Part V
Our meal began with six of the courses already placed on the table. The signature dish for Christmas Eve dinner, and usually eaten only once a year, is kutya, which is boiled grain sweetened with honey and mixed with chopped fruit and nuts. The kutya at our dinner was made of buckwheat, but other grains can also be used, such as rice or barley.
Grain is considered the staff of life, and kutya symbolizes prosperity in the coming year. An old superstition holds that if you toss a spoonful of kutya into the air, and it sticks to the ceiling, then the new year will be prosperous. No one at our dinner did this, and we did NOT inform our children of this custom!
An image of kutya can be found at the following website:
http://www.kucharz.pl/img/kutia.jpg
Christmas Eve, Part IV
Many people in the western church fast during Lent, but the Ukrainians restrict their foods during Advent, as well. The fast ends on Christmas Day, so the traditional Christmas Eve dinner abides by the Advent dietary restrictions.
That means that no meat, eggs, or milk are allowed in the dinner. The ban on milk means that butter and cheese are also forbidden. Fish, however, features prominently in the Christmas Eve dinner, for it is not meat.
In addition, the fish is a symbol for Christ, who described himself and his disciples as "fishers of people." The letters of the Greek word for "fish" (
ichthus ) are an acrostic for the words "Jesus Christ, Son of God, Savior." The early Christians used the symbol of the fish, two intersecting half- circles, as a secret way to identify fellow believers during times of persecution. For images of the
ichthus and more information about it, see:
http://www.plymouth-church.com/ichthus.html
Christmas Eve, Part III
Ukraine came to Christianity in 988 AD. For details on the people's mass baptism, see my blog entry on 7/17/05 (paragraph 3).
Due to the late date of Ukraine's conversion, many pre-Christian customs are still strongly rooted in the culture. Like the early church in Roman days, the Ukrainian orthodox church incorporated many of these customs into the new Christmas celebration. For example, the Feast of the Winter Solstice, and Feast of Fertility were rolled into Christmas, as were other agrarian customs and even the veneration of deceased ancestors.
The food for the Christmas Eve dinner reflects this dichotomy. The twelve dishes that are served can symbolize the twelve months of the year (agrarian) or the twelve apostles (Christian).
Christmas Eve, Part II
The meal started with a table prayer by the bishop. If the Christmas Eve meal is done at home, however, the father says grace. The bishop ended his prayer with the exclamation, “Krystos rodyvsya” (“Christ is born”), to which the guests responded, “Slavite yoho” (“Let us praise him”). The bishop then said "Christ is born," but very few people, including the Stahlke table, knew the English response. Now I know, for next year.
Our kids were raring to eat, but there was more preparatory ritual to watch. Three candles on a center table were lit in turn by the bishop, then the consul general, and finally, the pastor of the church. The candles symbolize Jesus, the light of the world. Next to the candles stood a
kolach, or set of three beautiful bread rings, stacked one on top of another. The three rings symbolize both the Trinity (3 rings) and eternity (a circle). Also on the table was a
didukh, or sheaf of hay, which represents the manger where Jesus lay.
For an image of a
kolach, see:
http://www.ukrainianclassickitchen.ca/images/photos/Kolach-1.jpg
Christmas Eve, Part I
Last Wednesday evening, we celebrated Christmas Eve at St. Volodymyr Ukrainian Orthodox Cathedral in Chicago's Ukrainian village. For a few photos of the church building, which was originally German Lutheran (!), see:
http://www.yelp.com/biz/st-volodymyr-ukrainian-orthodox-cathedral-chicago-2
Even though orthodox Christmas Eve lands on January 6, it is NOT the same as the western feast of the Epiphany. In fact, orthodox churches will celebrate Epiphany on January 19 of this year. For further explanation of why orthodox Christmas Eve and Christmas Day fall on January 6 and 7, see my blog entry for Feb. 29, 2008.
I'll share with you some of our experiences from last Wednesday, supplemented by information I've gleaned from personal experience or internet sleuthing.
Our Ukrainian Christmas celebraton started with a vespers service at 6:30 pm, with Bishop Daniel (Zelinski), of the Western Eparchy [diocese] of the Holy Ukrainian Orthodox Church of the USA, presiding. We began the service, which lasted about 1-1/2 hours, by purchasing candles in the back of the sanctuary, and then lighting and placing them in front of icons in the sanctuary. The worship service featured lots of chanting, incense, candles, music selections by a small choir, and one congregational hymn. Unlike some of the services we've attended in past years, about 5% of the language was now in English, which seems to be something new introduced by the bishop. Another change is that he ended the service with a homily.
Following the service, we walked to the fellowship hall for a traditional Christmas Eve dinner. In many sources I've read, this meal is called
sviata vecheria, but the words literally mean “holy evening." The bishop referred to the "holy meal" in his sermon, and I wondered if the food is blessed (sprinkled with holy water) in advance of the celebration.
The fellowship hall was decorated for Christmas with streamers, candles, and white tablecloths. Our table, reserved for the "Stahlkes," was close to the front seating for the dignitaries, which included the bishop, consul general of Chicago, and the pastor of the cathedral.
The following website gives photos from the bishop's installment last spring. Bishop Daniel can be seen in the top left photo, and the church's interior is visible in a few of the images. Some of the assisting ministers last Wednesday wore gold robes like the ones pictured in this website. The fellowship hall where we ate our Christmas dinner last Wednesday is in the bottom left photo on the site:
http://chicagua.com/church/index.html
Rachel's Story, Part VIII
So, as all of you can see, it was very different for me to move from one country to another because of all the things I knew would change. All of you that have experienced this know exactly how I felt. Probably even those of you who haven't know because of what I have just now told you.
The End
Rachel's Story, Part VII
In the U.S., there are huge buildings as all of us know, because the Sears Tower is so huge you can't miss it. These huge towers are 100 or so stories high. There are also some very big malls around here, and there are no little markets around a field. There are huge buildings with stores inside. There are little gas stations by the side of the road all over the place. I bet there isn't a town that doesn't have at least two. You can buy snacks and gas at these shops. Some even have restaurants in them. There is also a requirement of a town hall for each town because there are so many people here. In each town there are at least a million people, some have more or less. There is usually a fire department and an ambulance in each town for emergencies. All these towns have churches for all the different people that believe in different things. So the buildings are very different from the small ones in Ukraine.
To be continued . . .
Rachel's Story, Part VI
The schools in this huge new country were different also. The first thing is that the teachers [in the U.S.] were all taught in school for at least two years or more, so they had a better idea of what they were doing than the teachers in Ukraine. Another reason is that in Ukraine there was no such thing as a private school. Here you can find one anywhere. This is probably because there are so many different races and cultures here. I personally think this is better because I don't like the little churches squashed into some little place they could find. The schools here are so much bigger and have so many different people I can't even start to say them all. Here in the U.S., students have so many different choices of things to do for after-school programs. And I like it because you don't have to choose between two activities, [but] you have like five choices. Here you don't go to school on Saturdays, and it's usually from eight to two forty-five. Breaks are much shorter here, but we still like to have them. In this country, you also can send your younger children to daycare if they don't go to school, so you can go to work. So these are some ways the schools are not the same in the U.S., as they are in Ukraine.
To be continued . . .
Rachel's Story, Part V
My life changed completely when I moved to the U.S. because of all the changes that happened in the same year. For one, the towns had so many people, and it was so loud. I was not used to all of this, so it was very hard to adjust to all of this noise. It was hard to sleep and hard to walk around town alone without being scared of what was here because of what my parents told me. There were no cows or chickens anywhere, and it was not allowed to walk around alone, either. The homes all looked the same. None of them were made of logs. They were so much warmer and bigger than the ones in Ukraine where I lived. This all took forever to get used to, but I was happy in weeks. I loved it here when I got off the airplane.
To be continued . . .
Rachel's Story, Part IV
Unlike the U.S., in Ukraine where I lived there were no big buildings or malls. We had some malls, but they were nothing like the Oakbrook or Riverside Malls. They were more like markets with shops around a big field. The biggest building they may have had was an apartment that was 9 stories high, but the business buildings were two or three stories because there was not enough space in the small towns for the huge buildings. There were not any little gas stations by your house; you had to go into town about five miles to do that. Many people did not like that though, but again it was because the small towns had no room for them. The little town had one church because most people were the same religion. If you were not, you had to drive or ride your horse into town, so most people that lived in the town moved to a town that had the same religion that they believed in. Many of the towns did not have a little town hall, because there were only like 150 people in each town. That's why there was not a town hall in each town. So when I moved here, it was very hard to adjust to all the people and all the loud noises.
To be continued . . .
Rachel's Story, Part III
Another great difference was the way the schools [in Ukraine] worked. This was very unlike the schools in the U.S. The first thing is that the teachers were not thought to be teachers. They were volunteers that would come and study what the students should know for two or three weeks, then they would go to a certain school and teach. Another thing that was not the same was the activities you could do. There was no volleyball or basketball after school, but you could do things like art club and a club for learning other languages. Many students enjoyed going to clubs so they have been around forever. In Ukraine, school ran Monday-Saturday from 9-12 then you could have the rest of the day at home to do what you wanted to. This is how most schools work all over Europe. Students had long winter and summer break because of this, and they loved the idea of the long breaks. We had one month for winter break and three for summer break. It was very hard for me to adjust to this because of the changes in the school times.
To be continued . . .
Rachel's Story, Part II
The biggest thing that was different [in the U.S.] was the habitat because the land in Ukraine where I lived was small, so I knew where I was all the time. Also, the way things were where I lived was very different, like the fact that we grew crops and raised animals. This was like that because where I lived the people did not have city jobs like here. They were farmers and market people, not business workers. In the towns, we might have had a few other jobs, such as a nurse or a preacher, but that was about it for that. So, these are some ways that Ukraine was different because of the habitat and what people do.
To be continued . . .
