Antiques
Our older children visit the local library almost daily to use the computers and hang out with their friends. The younger children can go to the library only if Jonathan or I accompany them. They beg us quite often to do so.
Yesterday, Kola took a new tack to persuade his dad to take him to the library:
"Dad, there a lot of 'old people' books there for you to read!"
Happy Boxing Day!
Usually the ads for exercising and other healthy pursuits start after New Year. This morning, there was already one in our newspaper!
I guess the Brits have it right, which we learned when we lived in Hong Kong. On December 26, the servants in English households pack box lunches for their employers and then take a well-deserved day off. It's customary for the employer and his/her family to go on a hike with their boxed lunches.
I guess that's one way to start walking off all the goodies eaten at Christmas!
For My Dad
This morning, as I perused the newspaper, the following article caught my eye. My father majored in physics and worked as a chemist, and I thought of him while reading it:
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/la-na-santa-science-20101224,0,4925605.story
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Merry Christmas!!
Lemons to Lemonade
Kola: “My tooth is loose. I hope it comes out today.”
Adam: “I wish all your teeth would fall out. Then you couldn’t talk so much.”
Kola: “Ooh!! Then the tooth fairy would give me a hundred dollars!”
Conundrum
One child receives new tennis shoes. Another child immediately mentions wanting new tennis shoes, too. The next day, one of his old shoes disappears. Jonathan and I know that it probably went out in the trash, but we can't prove it. Do we buy child #2 a new pair or not?
Our solution: Wait a couple of weeks before replacing the shoes.
Dancing Days
This past weekend featured two important dance events for our boys. On Saturday evening, Adam served as escort for a school friend at her
Quinceañera. This event marks a young woman’s fifteenth birthday, and serves as a “coming out” ceremony. For more information, see the article on
Quinceañera in Wikipedia. The section on Mexico has many of the events we experienced on Saturday night.
Adam had attended weekly dance rehearsals since September to learn the steps for the court’s dance. The evening also included a religious ceremony marking the girl’s transition to adulthood, a delicious banquet, lots of professional photos, a slide show from her babyhood to the present, and her own toasts to the fifteen most meaningful people in her life. The evening ended with hours of dancing:
On Sunday afternoon , our entire family and some good friends attended the recital of the Ukrainian Dance School. David and Kola’s first performances went very well, and they especially loved their costumes. The school does a great job of planning. The premise of the entire performance involved two girls waiting for St. Nicholas to arrive with gifts on his name day, which landed this year on Dec. 19, the very day of the recital (in the Julian calendar). A group of young devils played mischief with the calendar, turning it back to other months of the year, thus delaying St. Nicholas’ arrival.
David’s dance, the first in the recital, featured skaters playing on the ice. The girls made graceful turns and spins, while the boys “chased” them with hockey sticks. The dance ended with two of the girls checking the calendar and expressing joy that St. Nicholas Day was fast approaching. The girls fell asleep as they waited for him. Kola’s group performed when the devils turned the calendar back to May. Four or five young boys started the dance with mushroom hats, and the rest of the dancers (including Kola) jumped and leaped as grasshoppers.
At the end of the recital, St. Nicholas himself entered the hall , dressed in golden robes appropriate to his rank as a bishop. He distributed a gift to each child in the room, which took a very long time, but made them quite happy.
Outside Intervention
Kola's rages have pretty much ended, thanks to help from medication. Now it's calm enough in our house to work on the root causes of his anger, with the assistance of several professionals. I anticipate we can gradually decrease the meds, as his problems are addressed. He's a much happier little boy already, and the emotional reactions from everyone else are not as bad now.
With the turmoil lessening in our home, I feel like a new person.
What a gift!
More Lyrics
My girls have a favorite song on the radio. The tune is quite catchy, and the intent of the text (sacrificing for a loved one) is fine. But I find the actual lyrics of the chorus to be quite disturbing:
To give me all your love is all I ever asked,
Cause what you don't understand is
I’d catch a grenade for ya
Throw my hand on a blade for ya
I’d jump in front of a train for ya
You know I'd do anything for ya
Questions
"Can Jesus do anything he wants?"
"Yes, he's all-powerful."
"If I was Jesus, I'd watch TV all day long and not eat."
[Is that why the rages are usually at mealtime?]
A few minutes later . . ."Is heaven pretty nice?"
"Yes, heaven is where everything is good."
"Are there bathrooms in heaven?"
Advent and Christmas
Some of our children are students at Grace Lutheran School, which has an incredible music program. I can't attend very many professional concerts anymore, so it was a gift to be present at a Grace school concert, where the children were joined by the adult ensembles of the church. We heard some very fine music, including Bach's Magnificat.
I also found Dennis Zimmer's setting of "What Is the Crying at Jordan?" to be beautifully haunting. The text by Carol Christopher Drake is copyrighted, so I can't give it all, but here's enough to give you a flavor:
What is the crying at Jordan?
Who hears, O God, the prophecy?
Dark is the season, dark our hearts
and shut to misery.
Now comes the day of salvation,
in joy and terror the Word is born!
God gives himself into our lives;
O let salvation dawn!
Hard Lesson
One of the resource teachers at Grace, Carolyn Douma, died this morning of gallbladder cancer, which was diagnosed about two months ago. She worked for several years with Paul and Adam and helped bring them up to grade level, especially in reading. Mrs. Douma's grandson is in Sarah's school choir, which will sing for the funeral next Wednesday.
Competition
After last Sunday's uproar, we had three blessed days of relative quiet. The medication that Kola started a week ago is finally taking effect. None too soon.
He relapsed today, however, and pulled ornaments off the Christmas tree and threatened to destroy the wreath on the front door. As I was dealing with him (or ignoring the behavior, as best I could), another child interrupted me. And interrupted me. Again. And again. After the fourth time, I had her repeat back to me: "Mom is busy. Don't talk to her now" to prove that she had heard me. It didn't help. SEVEN times I was interrupted.
It's a contest. Who can act up the most to get Mom's attention? Aaaargh!
From Last Sunday's Sermon
During the 2008 presidential race, John McCain was asked by Time magazine to share his "personal journey of faith." In response he told a story from his experiences in a North Vietnamese prison camp during the Vietnam War. He tells how he would often be tied with ropes that pulled his head down between his knees. Often he was left that way the entire night.
Then one particular night a guard came to him, and without saying a word loosened the ropes. In the morning, before anyone knew, he returned and tightened the ropes again. No one else was aware of what had happened, but McCain was deeply grateful for his night of relief.
The two men never exchanged a word, but on Christmas Day, the same guard came to him in the courtyard of the camp. Again, he said nothing, nor did he look McCain in the eye, but with his foot he drew a cross in the dirt. The two men looked down at that cross, a wordless conversation that said everything.
Gross Things
Having dogs has somewhat prepared us for the unpleasant smells and sights that children can bring into your life. Enough said about the kids--here's a story about our dachsund puppy.
Like many young dogs, Kentucky chews on just about everything. I blogged back on April 20 about the loss of my computer power cord. Luckily, he ate it on the side of the converter that had reduced the voltage! Two days ago, he munched on a $20 ornament hanging from the bottom branches of our Christmas tree. Any trash can is fair game, and he finds small toys and food anywhere the kids have stashed them.
So . . . this morning, after exploring inside and outside the house, Kentucky brought his latest discovery onto our bed. I saw it there and was none too pleased--it was a dried-out piece of dog dirt from the yard! After picking it up to throw away, it occurred to me that the weight of the object seemed too light. I took a closer look and saw a string hanging down. "Oh, brother, what has that dog eaten now?" I thought.
Then I realized to my dismay that the string was not a string. It was the tail of a dead mouse!
Eve of Dec. 6
St. Nicholas visited last night, and everyone's shoes were full of nuts, fruit and candy. Lots of fun!
Parentification
Kola had yet another tantrum today, and when we put him outside to cool off (in coat and gloves), he took a snow shovel to our front steps. Jonathan brought him back into the house, where the puppy went after him because Kola looked like he was hurting Jonathan. I grabbed the dog, and Jonathan took Kola up to his room.
Some of the older children demanded that Jonathan and I treat Kola more harshly. Others protested that we were too strict. I didn't have to say much when the two camps yelled loudly at each other. More than one kid was sent outside today.
David stood by quietly and earned himself several privileges for the rest of the day. He enjoyed fun time at the Concordia computer room, and was able to choose the radio station in the car.
I was thankful that at least one child kept themselves out of Kola's discipline.
First Snowfall
This Texan never tires of new fallen snow. Such beauty!
Trying Something New
"Dad, I'm bored."
One of our older sons couldn't watch TV last night, because his siblings were still doing homework. And it was too cold outside to shoot baskets.
"I'll call Mom at church." He asked me if we had any boxes of brownie mix in the house. "No, I don't have box mixes right now. But you could make brownies from scratch, if you want."
The tone of his voice became uncertain. "I've never done that before."
When I arrived home at 11:00 pm, pans and cookie cutters and ingredients were scattered across the kitchen. The first batch was entering the oven, with a cornucopia of shapes and sizes.
Jonathan, who needs exact directions for his own cooking, explained to me that our son had started with a recipe but then altered it as necessary. "It needed another egg, and some more milk." My can of shortening stood empty.
The cookies turned out wonderfully, tasting like a slightly sweetened shortbread. In fact, they reminded me of cookies we had eaten in Ukraine.
Our son then told me that these cookies were the first ones he had ever made.
One of Kola's Losses
A project this fall has been a letter from Kola to the orphanage director. She often allowed him to play in her office while she worked, and he seemed to be one of her favorites. I am grateful that he had a close relationship with a staff member there.
One difficulty in sending this letter, however, is that Jonathan and I misplaced the address, which we finally found. Another factor is that the letter must be translated into Ukrainian, since the director doesn't read English. But that problem has a solution now, since we can take the letter to the Ukrainian dance school, where David and Kola take classes.
I have worked with Kola on his letter. He dictated to me how he wanted to start it:
Dear Director,
You are a nice lady. I miss you so much. Thank you for giving me candy. Thank you for inviting me to your office every day. Your office smelled really really good.
